Say My Name
by RaversAnthem
Summary: Movie/Cartoonverse. Someone calls his name and he gets summoned to Earth. That was how this deal, this curse, worked. Not this. She called his name and she ended up here? “Say my name.” He demanded.
1. Touching

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, sadly enough, only the story itself. And any original characters. This is purely for enjoyment and not for profit.**

**A/N: Okay, so I've finally decided to shoot for my own story, after reading many wonderful fanfictions here. I really hope you all enjoy it.**

Lydia collapsed back on her bed, sighing. It had been another long day at school, and another long day of ridicule. Although the look on that girl's face when she'd squirted dissected frog juice her way during biology class had been near priceless. And that almost made up for her otherwise craptastic day. Almost. She let her head fall sideways to stare at her left hand where a thin gold band rested on her ring finger. She sighed again and the guilt assaulted her. It had been nearly four years ago—really that long? And was already graduated and in university, and still every day she came home from classes and thought about Him. And felt guilty about the whole thing. Of course, he had tried to marry her when she was only _sixteen years old_, but it had been a deal so her could be free, not a trap for her. And he _had_ saved Adam and Barbara just like he'd promised. He'd been a little perverted… but it wasn't so bad, almost funny. And he was definitely weird, but hell, so was she. He'd been too fascinating to be scary. The way he'd spoken to her, the look he'd given her when she'd told him she wanted in… She'd never felt more like an actual person than when he'd spoken to her. He wasn't treating her like a child, he was treating he like she mattered. And he looked at her like she mattered, and like she wasn't poison to the touch.

In truth, she'd panicked when it came down to actually marrying him, but not because of how he looked, or how he acted. Really she'd panicked because she'd been so young.

And this was the same argument she had in her head every day upon arriving back in her dorm room. And as always, she followed it up with the exact same thing she'd done practically every night since that very horrendous night four years ago.

"Beetlejuice."

Four long years of saying his name and he'd never once come back.

"Beetlejuice."

Four long years and she still didn't even know if he was still alive. Orm rather, undead.

"Beetlejuice."

…

Nothing. As usual.

Lydia sighed, dragging herself from her bed as she stared at the ring. He'd gotten it on her finger that night, even if the priest had never finalized their marriage. And she remembered having to cut the red glove from her hand later that night because it wouldn't come off. She turned it on her finger. It moved smoothly across her skin without friction, but still would not come off when she pulled at it.

Four long years and he hadn't answered. Lydia knew nothing of what had happened to him. She had asked Barbara and Adam once. She still remembered how they looked at her like she was crazy before asking her why she would want to know anything about him. Lydia quickly glazed over it by asking Barbara if she didn't want to know if there was a chance he could ever come back. If possible, Barbara's pale, ghostly flesh paled even more as she thought about it and she looked to Adam for reassurance. Lydia _knew_ they had gone to see Juno to find out, but when she asked them again later, Barbara just smiled in her own sweet way and hugged her tightly, telling her that she was sweet to worry but they wouldn't have to worry about Him ever again.

Lydia had been disappointed by such a vague answer, but didn't push it despite a burning need to know. She knew if she asked too many questions that Barbara and Adam would start to get suspicious themselves. The need to know if he was okay didn't stop burning, however, and she still felt guilt over breaking the deal. He'd held up his half, after all, and ended up eaten by a sandworm.

Lydia dumped her books on the floor; homework could wait, she was hungry.

Beetlejuice glared down at the paper in front of him. _Stay away from Lydia Deetz._ Stay away from her, indeed. She _had_ gotten him eaten by a sandworm, you'd think he'd want nothing to do with the scrawny goth girl again. You'd be wrong. He couldn't let it slide, he'd been too close! He grinned a sleazy, dirty smile and turned onto the road that led to his home. He would find the girl's mirror… but first he needed to celebrate his newfound freedom. Four long years he'd been in that waiting room waiting for Juno to see him, and he'd be damned if he didn't live his first night of freedom up.

"Don't worry, Babes, I can't forget about you. You're just gonna have ta wait a day or two for your hubby. After four years and extra day or two ain't gonna hurt us none." His grin grew wild as he swaggered up to his Roadhouse. "I'm hooooome~" he singsonged as he stepped inside.

Lydia came flying into her room furiously. She let her heavy pack thud against the wall where she threw it, caring less about possibly damaging the wall. She kicked the foot of her bed and cursed loudly and vehemently as pain coursed up her foot. Lydia collapsed on the bed, breathing into her pillow with deep, shuddering breaths that eventually turned into sobs.

It had finally boiled over with a guy in her chemistry class who thought he was all that because he was also an all-star on their university's football team. Lydia had spurned her fair share of advances from Jeremy, and she probably should have taken his last warning more seriously. She thought back on the exchange; she hadn't even been that rude, just exasperated and tired of his relentlessness.

"_How many times do I have to say no, Jeremy?"_

"_However many times it takes you to say yes."_

"_Damnit Jeremy! I'm not interested in you! Can't just take the hint and leave me alone?"_

"_Fuck, Lydia. You are a frigid bitch you know that? You've made me look bad in front of my friends, like some kind of whipped dog."_

"_I didn't ask you to keep pestering me to go out with you!" Lydia retorted._

"_But you kept saying no, you little bitch!"_

_Lydia rolled her eyes, "That is the second time you've called me a bitch, and it's really getting you no wehere. I said no the first time, it isn't my fault if you make a fool of yourself chasing after a girl who isn't interested!"_

_Jeremy suddenly towered over her, leaning very close. He was built like a football player, and therefore he was intimidating, but Lydia refused to back down in front of him. If she did he wouldn't learn._

"_Alright. I'll stop asking." His words surprised her, but his tone made her keep up her guard, and she was hardly disappointed. "But you are going to regret it, Lydia Deetz. You should have just said yes."_

And he'd meant it, as Lydia found out today. Her car, the gift her father had given her for graduation two years ago, she had come to discover sitting in the campus parking lot simply covered in deep gouges and spray paint stains in scrawling and hurtful insults ending in a violently scratched and spray painted 'this is not the end' on the hood.

"Jesus fuck!" she sobbed loudly, glad that her roommate was not home. She could hardly bear to have the other girl try to sympathize with her. She was a nice girl, and she and Lydia were tentative friends, but they hung in different social circles and it would just be too awkward if she were to try and comfort Lydia.

No, there was only one thing she really wanted right now.

"Beetlejuice."

She sobbed his named out so quietly at first it was barely a whisper.

"Beetlejuice!"

This time with a little more force. She hated being here.

"BEETLEJUICE!"

This time it ripped from her throat.

Lydia waited for the customary nothing to happen and her sobs to calm, but she did not expect the jerking feel ripping through the pit of her stomach and she didn't even have time to flinch before everything went dark.

Beetlejuice was pressing himself heavily onto the most bleached-out babe he'd ever seen. And she would be, as she confessed to him she'd died when she'd been bleaching her hair blonde, over-estimated how much bleach to use, and had suffocated to death from the fumes with the window only three feet away. Beetlejuice didn't care if she was stupid, only that she would let him get a handful of that ass or—

The familiar jerk in his gut had him freeze where he stood. The moment of realization dawned slowly on him and the perverted grin curling his lips split into a full-blown grin of joy. _Someone_ was calling his name. The second jerk, more insistent than the last, had him pushing away the bleached bimbo and heading for the door without a word to her protests. He wanted a good look at the two Neitherworld moons for one last time. If he was getting out tonight, he was never coming back.

Beetlejuice took a deep breath as he stared into their pale faces and waited with baited breath for the word that would trick the lock to his freedom. It was almost too easy, barely a day out of the waiting room and already someone calling his name?

"Babes… Here I come."

A tug, darkness, and… pain? Shouting, a weight colliding with his chest and he was tumbling backwards, shouting with surprise and he stumbled under the weight and finally collapsed onto his back.

There was a moment of quiet confusion before his gravely voice found itself. "What tha fuck?" he attempted to move, noting he was still on the street by the club, still could hear the rhythmic booming of the music from the other side of the wall, could see the two moons in the sky, could feel the shaking of the weight on his chest and the quick, shallow puffing of breath on his neck. Finally, he lifted his head to see a dark mop of hair and not much more.

Lydia tried to scream, but in the darkness nothing came out. She wasn't sure if it was the darkness or herself, but she made no sound. Her stomach revolted, twisting and turning until she couldn't take it anymore and then there was light again, and movement, and then she was falling and then colliding and her senses spun as pain filtered into other parts of her body beside her stomach.

Then it was all over, and she was lying on top of something slightly squishy, and she was breathing in quick, short gasps trying to catch her breath. Her stomach still spun in the aftermath, she winced, trying calm herself and didn't hear him speak, but she felt it when the mass beneath her moved, and that was all it took. She scrambled to the side just in time to empty her stomach on the ground. Somehow she still felt sick and slightly dizzy, so when she looked up to see Beetlejuice sitting not two feet from her and staring at her in disbelief, and she could do was smile weakly.

"Beetl—" but she never finished as she collapsed backwards into unconciousness.

It was a long time before Beetlejuice moved again. Interesting. This was interesting, and nowhere near what he really wanted, but now he had Lydia. Lydia Deetz. That was just one more step closer to his goal. He grinned maniacally and stood, casually brushing herself off and took in the form at his feet.

**A/N: Please read & review!**


	2. Say My Name

**A/N: Alright, so I'll admit, part of the M warning is because I like to swear. A lot. Please if you like this story review! I would love to hear your thoughts! I may even be able to get another chapter up tonight if I'm lucky in the inspiration department.**

He stared long and hard down the hallway at the closed door before harrumphing and turning to stomp into the kitchen. Stupid little Breathers… how long did they need to sleep for, anyway? He'd nearly stormed into the room in his impatience three times already to wake her up, but something always stopped him and he'd grumble and mutter and wander away. She's been out cold for… six hours or so now? He stared down at one of the wooden kitchen chairs before kicking it across the room and exiting the kitchen once more.

What the fuck had happened? Someone calls his name and he gets summoned to Earth. That was how this deal, this curse, worked. Not… Not this. She called _his_ name and _she_ ended up _here_? In the Neitherworld? Breathers just weren't supposed to be able to do that, let alone be in the Neitherworld. Hell, even _he_ didn't know what happened to a Breather once in the Neitherworld. Except that they don't die, because she wasn't dead yet. No, last time he checked she was breathing and still had her pulse. He collapsed onto a dust-covered couch in his living room. Funny term, that. Should he check again? It had been hours… What if she had died in that time? He scowled. Let her die.

Shit. No.

She couldn't die, she was his ticket out of there! And just how did she think she'd get him out of here by being here too!?

"Stupid, dumb brat." He muttered crankily. Then he sat in silence, mulling over the situation, a frown moulding his mouth downward. He could turn this to his advantage, couldn't he? All she had to do was say his name three times again. And she'd said it that many times already knowing that he was supposed to come to her, not the other way around. And now he didn't even have to go looking for her. That was it! He'd get her to say his name, they'd get sucked back to Earth, he'd kiss her to seal the deal and make their marriage official, and he'd be free!

Beetlejuice jumped to his feet, his boots clacking on the floor as he did so. Now all he had to do was wake her up! It didn't occur to him she might not say his name. He crossed the living room and turned back into the hallway only to stop cold for the second time tonight. She did apparently have the annoying habit of doing that to him. He stared down the long hallway to the darkly clothed figure standing at the other end. She was standing in front of the room he'd left her in, staring at the wall in front of her before she heard him enter the hallway as well and turned to look at him.

This was his first really good look at her since she'd arrive. He'd been so torn between shock and the urge to not get caught with a Breather in the Neitherworld that he'd juiced them quickly back to his Roadhouse without really taking the time to study her fully. What he'd mistaken originally as the small form he'd remembered was still quite small, but not nearly what he'd remembered. She's grown an inch or two, and her skin had stayed pale. Her face had thinned out ever so slightly, giving a more elegant sweep to her cheeks. Her brown eyes were dark, and just as large as he remembered them, with hair she'd grown out slightly so that he bangs swept the tops of her eyes and the rest fell behind her shoulders so that he could not see exactly how long it had become. And then his eyes moved down and if he had still had the sense to howl like a wolf he would have. Boy, did he ever pick 'em! She wore simple black pants tucked into black boots and a black sweater that hugged the curves she'd developed since their last meeting. And oh those curves! He couldn't take his eyes off them. She was still small, petite in size, but so curvy an hourglass would have been jealous. A grin curves his lips to revealed teeth long in need of a brushing. Damn his little wifey was hot!

"What are you looking at?"

The words interrupted his admiration of her figure like your other girlfriend could interrupt a really good date and his eyes snapped to meet hers. The grin only grew exponentially as he juiced himself next to her.

"Babes!" he grabbed her around the waist and dipped her backwards, running one hand down to her thigh. "Never knew you missed your dearly departed husband so bad you had to come an' visit me!"

Her eyes had widened—if that was even possible—and she just stared at him, like she couldn't believe what she was seeing. There he was, leaning over her and grinning in all his devious glory and talking as if they had only seen each other yesterday. Rage roiled up in her stomach and she frowned. Four years she'd been calling his name and he'd never come. That was a long time. She was going to let him know just what she thought of that!

She let him know with her fist connecting squarely with his jaw.

Then Lydia found herself tumbling to the floor and a sharp pain flowered up her spine as she landed.

"What the hell was that, Lyds?" Beetlejuice asked, rubbing his jaw in surprise. How could such a small fist hurt him so much was beyond him, but damn that hurt! He glared at the small figure on the ground, wondering how he should take this. Lydia, meanwhile, was returning his stare with one of her own, a mixture of surprise and anger evident on her face. They stared at each other for a long time like that, neither really knowing where to go next until Lydia gathered her courage and spoke.

"Beetle…" she trailed off not yet daring to say his full name. She was still angry, but she was trying to cool off before she spoke again. She'd been hoping for this moment for years and finally here it was.

"Do you know how long you've been gone?" Those were definitely not the words she'd wanted to say, and she sounded hardly as intelligent as she'd hoped to sound.

He rolled his eyes at her, broken from his stupor. Had she even looked in a mirror the last four years? He could judge just by how she looked that'd been away a while. Not to mention that he'd counted every. God. Damned. Minute. Of his time in that waiting room. "Four long, agonizing, _boring_ years, Babes." He muttered a few choice words at her as a cigarette appeared in his hand and he lit up. Her let it dangle precariously from his lips and shoved his hands in his deeply into the pockets of his striped suit. The same suit he'd been stuck wearing for the last few years. He briefly considered changing.

Lydia watched him from her position on the floor and debated telling him about how she'd tried to call him many times previously, but decided against it. Despite feeling sorry for backing out of their deal she did not want him lording it over her head more than he already could.

"So," it was Beetlejuice who broke the silence this time, "How tha hell'd you get here, Babes? Breathers ain't supposed to do that."

Lydia finally stood and brushed herself off, "I don't know Bee—Beej."

A nickname? How cute.

"It's supposedly your curse. I thought saying your name brought you to me, not me to you. Why don't you tell me?"

"Fucked if I know, Babes. Sayin' my name three times is supposed ta do just what ya said: bring me ta the breathin' world." He looked at her long and hard. "Why were ya callin' my name anyways, Lyds? Missin' yer dearly departed hubby-to-be? Because last I remember, you weren't too fond of me." He leered at her perversely.

It was just the question she'd been hoping to avoid. She swallowed and threw him her best glare, pretending disinterest and casually attempting to make her way past him. She was obviously in the Neitherworld, but was this Beetlejuice's home?

"None of your business, dead-man." She replied as casually as she could manage when she'd made her way mostly past him.

That was it, he'd been playing nice-guy with the broad up until now, but there was no bullshitting a bullshitter and he was the _king_ of bullshit. He slammed Lydia against the wall just enough to rattle her without breaking her fragile breather body. He pinned her hands to the wall with his own and pressed his body roughly against hers. Beetlejuuice let his cold breath puff against her face as she stared at him in surprise with her impossibly large brown eyes. His green eyes glowed ferally in the dim light of the hallway and she could small the scent of old oak and paper and a vague musk, and for the first time in four long years Lydia remembered just how dangerous the poltergeist could be. For the first time in four years Lydia was frightened of him.

"Like hell it ain't my business, Babes. It's _my name_ and _my house_ and you're sure as hell gonna tell me _why_ you called my name." He hadn't raised his voice once but his voice still seemed to fill the hallways until he almost felt like she was suffocating. Alright, maybe he was using his juice a little to make it seem like that, but what else was it for?

Quiet filled the hallway and Lydia realized she was eventually expected to answer. She opened her mouth to speak and found her tongue dry in shock. At first no sound came out and as she tried to think of some explanation that wouldn't damn her she suddenly remembered the events of earlier that day. The surprise at finding the scratches and hateful words scrawled over her car, and the continued threat. Fresh tears sprung to her eyes at the thought of it all. Beetlejuice blinked, he hadn't expected her to go all blubbery on him. He began to back away but she grabbed the lapels of his jacket and before he could protest she began to sob out some sad story about a boy and threats and her wrecked car, followed by some things he couldn't make out. What he did understand, however, was that some snot-faced punk kid thought he could get away with hitting on and harassing _his_ wife, and Beetlejuice simply did not other people breaking what was his. He took her by the shoulders roughly and she sniffled slightly but was otherwise quiet, avoiding his gaze like the plague. She'd really made the fool of herself now, exploding into hysterics like that. Why'd he care why she'd called his name anyway? He'd never answered before.

"Say my name." He demanded suddenly. Lydia looked up at himm in surprise, wiping away the last of her tears.

"What?"

"Say my name, let's get out of this dump." His luminous green eyes flashed dangerously.

"Beetlejuice."

"That's one, Babes."

"Beetlejuice."

"Twice, Lyds, say it once more." He pulled her tightly to him. It wasn't as if he was angry because she was upset, but she was his _wife_—or soon would be, it didn't matter—and no one messed with his things. Especially when they had a hot little ass that he was just… about… to… His face turned into a triumphant grin.

"BEETLEJUICE!!!" Her indignant cry only made it all the better and his grin widen. At least until he realized they were still standing in his hallway.

"Uhm…" Lydia was the first to break the stunned silence, although a creative list of expletives fell from his lips soon after. "What just happened?" Lydia stepped away cautiously as his arms went slack.

"I'm more worried about what _didn't_ happen, Babes. Why aren't we in your breather world?" Lydia shrugged. "Try it again." He demanded.

"Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice." She repeated.

Nothing happened and Beetlejuice cussed again. How had she managed to _break_ his curse? As far as he knew they weren't completely married yet, and he hadn't kissed her. It had worked to bring her here. He had felt that. It must be something to do with that.

Meanwhile Lydia paled. She was stuck in the Neitherworld with no way home.


	3. Hoodwinked

**A/N: I always had a general idea of what I wanted to happen with this story, but now I've got a bit of a better idea on how to get there. Starting with this chapter.**

"Awww hell Lyds! What the fuck you do? Why ain't it workin'?" he demanded, lighting up a second cigarette. The first had disappeared only god-knows-when; Lydia hadn't been paying much attention.

"I… I don't know!" she answered quickly. She immediately put a hand to her throat and sighed in relief. She still had a pulse so she wasn't dead, so why didn't it work?

"We should go see Juno, she'll know how to get me home." Lydia reasoned if anyone knew it would be Juno.

"No ways, Lyds, Juno'll blame me for this whole mess and I ain't done shit." Beetlejuice retorted hotly.

"_You_ don't have to come, Beej. I'll go see Juno myself. I am not staying in the Neitherworld! Especially after you've said 'breathers ain't supposed ta be here'!" she mimicked his rough voice and moved to quickly slip past him, but he grabbed her wrist quickly.

"Juno's still gonna blame me, Lyds. Don't go. I just got out of there, and that waiting room is the dumps. Besides, you don't wanna go out into the Neitherworld by yourself. Being alive 'n all you sure as hell ain't gonna attract the right kind of attention." He actually looked sincere as he said this, so Lydia hesitated. When she still didn't see any hint of trickery in his eyes a few moments later she sighed and gave in. She still wanted to apologize for getting him stuck in the waiting room for four years, not get him stuck in there a second time.

"What are we going to do then?" He grinned and let go of her arm, leaning back on his heels.

"Just chill out. There's no rush."

"Beetlejuice, if you don't help get me home I _will_ go to Juno and I _will_ let her draw her own conclusions about whose fault is it that I'm here in the Neitherworld and don't know how to get home."

Beetlejuice scowled at her, "Babes, Lyds, did I say I wasn't gonna help ya get home? Nah, I just said chill out, there's no rush. And there ain't. I got no idea how you got here, and none on how to get you home. Sittin' around ain't gonna help me think any. Listen, Babes, this is your first time in the Neitherworld," he sidled up to her and dropped an arm around her shoulders, turning her to head toward the front of the house, "and I just got outta tha box yesterday and hey, I really think we should live this up a little. I mean here we are, me free from Juno and you 'in' like ya wanted, without it even bein' permanent—far as I know—and it's not like we don't got time so why don't we just enjoy ourselves a little? I know it's been a big shock, all this reunitin' stuff an' all, so I figure I can show you a few places I know that are ta die for." She almost smiled at his intentional pun, "Like tha Eye Scream Shoppe, and the Shocking Maul. You chicks like sugar and shopping, right?"

Lydia stared at him before nodding slowly. The places he was mentioning sounded too interesting to resist. Besides, they could think on their feet, right? And who knew when she'd be able to return to the Neitherworld again, maybe not until she was dead! Better to know what she'd be getting herself into now…

"Uh, sure Beej, I guess."

He grinned, revealing teeth that hadn't been brushed in a very long time and Lydia found herself wondering why she hadn't smelled putrid breath when he'd pinned her to the wall earlier. Maybe dead people didn't get bad breath? They certainly didn't lose teeth; Beetlejuice's unhygienic mouth was proof enough of that.

"Ya ain't gonna regret this, Babes, I'll show ya all of the freakiest spots in town!" And maybe earn some brownie points in the process.

Lydia couldn't help but stare at everything as they walked through town. The roads here, well, most of them went off into nothingness and you could fall right off the side into some pink whirling mass of cloud below. Beetlejuice had yanked her back and far away with a growl when she'd tried to get a better look and Lydia was surprised to find that was Saturn below them. Unlike heaver the Neitherworld sat much closer to it's own little version of hell. Even the sky was different painted in daytime hues of reddish-orange. And the people! Lydia tried very hard not to stare at them but sometimes it was very hard. Some looked like real live monsters—ten feet tall with extra limbs and one eye—and some of them looked like how'd they'd died: there was a woman with a gaping hole in her chest, a man carry around his cleanly severed head, and even someone with dark rope marks around their neck. Lydia quickly averted her eyes from them and instead asked Beetlejuice why some people were monsters and some people just looked like their death. Did monsters really exist?

Beetlejuice laughed, "Nah, Babes. They looked just like their dead selves when they arrived too, but you can change in the Neitherworld. It all depends on how ya feel and how ya act here. Yer here long enough and maybe, well…" he motioned obscurely to a guy who was scale like a fish. "I'm not sure on tha specifics myself, and I been here a long time."

"How long?" she asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

Beetlejuice considered her in his peripheral vision as he debated answering her and Lydia watched him intently. "A long time, Babes. Too long."

That wasn't a real answer and they both knew it, so Lydia pushed. "Years? Decades? Centuries? I mean, you look dead, but you don't have eight limbs, a tail, and fur growin' in weird places."

He grinned sleazily, "How do you know where I got fur growin'?" he waggled eyebrows at her and Lydia made a face.

"Pervert." He mocked hurt at her as she said this.

"Aw, Babes, here I am takin' you out in the middle of tha day on a nice date and I ain't even tried nothing and yer callin' me a pervert? That's just not fair." They were getting very close to town and more people were on the roads. Lydia immediately noticed she was getting more stares—surprised and otherwise—from those around them. She immediately dropped his little game.

"They're staring at me."

"Only 'cause yer with me, Lyds. Ignore 'em, they don't know shit."

Lydia doubted that was the only reason but tried to ignore them as best they could, especially when the buildings around them had started to grow into the larger forms of city buildings. Every which way blue and purple and green brick tilted precariously this way or that. Lydia wondered how they stayed up as Beetlejuice steered her down a side street.

"Lyds yer just gonna love this!" he rubbed his hands together as they came upon a small building: the Eye Scream Shoppe. "You ain't had nothin' like this in yer breathin' world. I guarantee ya." Lydia followed him into the shop, and immediately felt all eyes drawn to her. She turned to look at those already occupying the shop and glared at whoever she caught staring at her. Damn, did the dead have no manners? Beetlejuice seemed oblivious as he pulled her up to the counter. The shop owner gave them a wary stare but walked over.

"What can I get you?" he asked cautiously. Lydia felt like he was waiting for either of them to bite.

"Red Rum, and the little lady is gonna have Cherry Chocolate Mice Cream." Lydia's eyes widened by he only grinned at her as they waited.

A loud noise from behind them caught the attention of all three at the counter and they turned to see a chair knocked over. Beetlejuice scowled and looked at the door only to se the remnants of who ever it was racing away from the shop.

"Damn morons." He grumbled, turning back to the counter. Lydia stared longer at the door where she'd seen the figure run off, but eventually turned back as well when their eye scream was ready for them, even if she wasn't ready for it.

The figure raced down the street, turning the next block and running as fast as it's hitched pace could carry it. Beetlejuice was back, and if that weren't bad enough he had a Breather with him! His Master would wish to know this. Maybe it was a way to get to the all-too-powerful poltergeist. His Master would know. He would tell Him. He would deal with the filth.

"That… wasn't too bad."

"Oh come on, they ain't got sweets like this in the breathin' world!" Beetlejuice pointed his spoon at her and she winced at the congealed red clinging to it.

"No… No they don't." she agreed, finally pushing hers away. Hers had actually been very tasty, but she hadn't gotten through much of it because of the squeaking. Like mice, though she never did come across what was making the noise she figured she'd quit before she did. She looked up to see Beetlejuice taking a swig from a silver flask. Had he been doing that the whole time? He caught her gaze and grinned.

"Though Neitherworld booze is shit." He tilted the flask toward her and Lydia shook her head immediately. There was just no knowing if it was actually turpentine or something.

"So how old are you, Beej?"

"Aw, not that tired old subject again! I'm old, Lyds. Real. Old." He leered at her, "But not old enough to not have a good time, if ya know what I mean." And she felt something brush against her thigh. She slapped at it in surprise and found nothing. She looked under the table and found Beej too far away from her to touch her there, so she sat up and glared at him.

"Don't do that."

He attempted to be the picture of innocence, "Do what, Babes?"

She rolled her eyes, "We aren't married yet, dead-man."

He smirked, "But we will be, won't we Babes?" She frowned; he was catching her in her own words. Beetlejuice took her frown for argument and point at her, "You _did_ make a deal, Babes, don't you think after all I did for you and even all this time you can back out of it."

Even though Lydia had been feeling guilty over the exact same thing all these years, hearing him say it… "I'm done, can we go?"

His eyebrows shot up, but he merely nodded, "Yea, sure." They slide from their table and left without another word. Beetlejuice wasn't oblivious to what was goin' on, and he watched the Goth as she walked down the street beside him. He was just starting to think he'd said something when she spoke up.

"If we finish the marriage," she began and Beetlejuice snorted. There was no way he was going to let her get out of their deal.

"When." Her corrected.

"If or when," Lydia amended and Beetlejuice decided not to argue for now, "we finish this marriage, what are you going to do afterward?" Well, now, that was an interesting question.

"Well, I was thinking I'd do a bit of travellin', you know? A few places I haven't been in a while, and a few places I never been but wanna see. Lots of booze. Lots of parties. I'm gonna live it up! I mean, come on, couple centuries in this dump and you'd be doing the same thing, Babes."

"Oh." Came her soft reply. "And me?"

He grinned at her, "Do whatever the hell you want, Babes. That's the great part." If anything her frown grew and he couldn't figure out what was wrong.

"Why haven't you sealed it yet? I mean we did everything but kiss. Couldn't you get us out of here if we sealed the deal?" she had stopped to look at him.

He waved his hands, "Aw, didn't know ya liked me so much, Lyds. But no, I ain't got no idea what happens if we seal the deal here in the Neitherworld. I ain't takin' the chance of it not workin'." He pulled her close, "Though I am looking forward to it."

She pushed him away, and still wouldn't meet his eyes and he sighed. "What happens to the curse on your name?"

"It gets lifted, or so I been told."

"Well duh, Beej, but that's it? You get free of the Neitherworld and your name all at once and you are allowed to run free among us mortals? No more consequences?"

"Yeeep, doesn't it sound great?"

"And at this rate you're never going to get out, Beetlejuice. All the better for me, do you know how much paper work I'd have if you got out permanently?" The dry voice of the last person Beetlejuice wanted to see interrupted his otherwise good day.

"Juno! Juno it ain't what you think, I meant this isn't my fault, I mean I wasn't tha one ta bring her here!" The pair had turned to see the dead woman glaring rather dangerously, even for Juno.

"Beej, she looks pissed."

"Oh I am, Lydia Deetz, I am. You're both in trouble. Come with me." She took a long drag of her cigarette and before either could protest they were pulled through space and reappeared in Juno's office. "The shit I put up with from you, Beetlejuice." She slammed her fist on the desk as she sat down and a pile of folders tumbled over. A wave of her hand had them back like they were before. "A lot of shit, and even worse a lot of paperwork. This, however, takes the cake. You were told to do one simple thing. Stay away from Lydia Deetz, but you can't even do that right. How is it I come to find you less than forty-eight hours after being released with the one person you were expressly told to stay away from? On top of that she's a mortal and you've brought her here into the Neitherworld." Juno waved her cigarette in Lydia's general direction, "Do you have any idea what happens to mortals here, Beetlejuice? Of course you don't. Why would you care." They all knew she didn't mean it as a question. She pulled a folder from the top of the file and let her cigarette dangle from her mouth as she flipped it open and rifled through. "You really done it this time, Beetlejuice. They are not happy with you at all."

"They?" Lydia echoed.

"The chumps upstairs." Beetlejuice growled. "Think they can run everyone's unlives."

"They can, Beetlejuice, and they are. They've sentenced you to Saturn as punishment." Juno closed the folder and looked up to see the horrified look on Beetlejuice's faced, and the surprise on Lydia.

"But Juno it's not his fault I called his name and somehow I got—" Lydia stopped as Juno held her hand up for silence.

"As for you, Miss Deetz, you are not to use his name again, nor are you to see him again. When we are done here, you may say 'home home home' and that will return you to the mortal world." Lydia moved to protest this but Beetlejuice beat her to it.

"I ain't done shit, Juno. The kid got herself here. You've told her how ta get back and she can go—"

"No, Beetlejuice. The Boss upstairs have spoken, there's no squirming out of this one. I'm sorry." Beetlejuice began to back up, getting ready to juice himself out of there, but the spark of energy never came. "Your powers have been revoked until you are situated on Saturn. Once there they will be returned, but you will not have the ability to 'juice' yourself back this time. Your allotted time there is yet undetermined."

Beetlejuice stormed forward, "Juno you KNOW this is bullshit! I haven't done anything! They can't send me to Saturn for this!"

Lydia stared on in horror as the ground beneath his feet trembled and split beneath the poltergeist. She screamed in horror as the boards separated and light from beneath filtered upwards. Warm air rushed through the room, rustling paper and clothing pulling everything toward the hole. An inhuman screech echoed somewhere in the distance below them. In an instant Beetlejuice was gone and the floor was sealing itself back up.

Lydia stared at the floor in stunned silence at the floor as Juno settled back into her seat. "Go home, Lydia."

Lydia's gaze snapped to Juno. "He didn't bring me here." She said flatly.

"That's not for me to decide, Miss Deetz."

"For you to _decide_? You don't _decide_ what happens by accident. _I_ called his name and was brought to the Neitherworld. You can't just deny what actually happened just because he's got a history for causing trouble." Lydia was seething right now. "I made a deal with him four years ago and I broke it and he got punished for that. I'm not saying what he did was right, he did it to get out of here by attempting to marry me when I was sixteen and that's not exactly the most moral of things to do, but I made the deal and I knew what I was getting into, Juno. I didn't call him to get him eaten again."

Juno watched her quietly before replying, "On the contrary, Miss Deetz, I don't think you have any idea what you have been trying to get yourself into. Beetlejuice is one of the most powerful poltergeists in the Neitherworld, save for the Prince and a handful of others. It takes the Powers That Be to control him most times. He's over six centuries old, maybe more, and you are one human, twenty year old girl. You can hardly expect to be able to stand up to him."

"He saved Barbara and Adam."

"Only because it benefited him."

"He talked me out of suicide."

"It helped get you to trust him. He's very good at that."

Lydia frowned. "Look, maybe you don't believe me, but when I met him that night he didn't talk to me like I was some kid. He didn't treat me like I couldn't make my own decisions. He didn't try to force me to not make my own mistakes."

Juno had enough, and she let Lydia know it, "Listen, Miss Deetz. This is a direct order from the Powers That Be: Stay. Away. From. Beetlejuice. Now go home."

Lydia almost wanted to rip the caseworker's dead eyes out, and she wasn't about the accept anyone getting punished for something that was her own fault.

"If you won't do the right thing then I will."

She concentrated on an image of Beetlejuice in her head, "Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice." Juno stood quickly, staring at the spot where Lydia Deetz had just stood and cursed softly under her breath. They were not going to like this.

**A/N: No, I don't hate Juno. I like her a lot actually! And she'll be making more appearances later. Please please please review!**


	4. Freedom

The sand before her seemed to stretch on and on forever in alternating waves of colour. For the briefest moment everything to be absolutely quiet and still, and then the wind picked up and Lydia began to notice every single little noise. Beetlejuice was nowhere to be seen as she turned around in a complete circle. What was this? Lydia had called his name he should be here!

"Beej!" she cupped her hands around her mouth and called out across the sand. There was no answer, and she wasn't sure if she should call again. Did sandworms eat humans? Well, living humans.

It seemed she would not have to wait long as the sands beneath her shifted and rumbled before growing quiet once more. "Beej?" she asked tentatively, taking a step backwards. She knew she wouldn't be so lucky. The ground rumbled beneath her feet again and she watched as the sand shifted around her, and grew to a trembling mound that slowly began circling her. "Shit." She breathed, suddenly regretting making an attempt to save the sorry poltergeist's ass. She watched the shifting mound of sand circle her slowly and swore that if the poltergeist didn't show up soon she was going to kill him. Again.

Then her world exploded. Lydia was thrown back violently as the sandworm erupted from the sand with a violent screech and her breath was knocked from her. Her vision swam as the shadow of the beast loomed over her and she blinked to clear it only to be met with the sight of rows of pearly white teeth, sharp as razors, racing towards him. Finding her voice her lips parted and she let loose an ear-shattering scream of terror and the sandworm dove at her, more than ready to happily consume her.

Stupid kid. She should know better, really. It made him grin to hear her scream, and got him all riled up. He juiced himself easily between her and the sandworm, lifting an arm crackling with energy and slammed his fist into the jaw of the monster. The sandworm creeled in agony and dove under the sand, Beetlejuice turned to grin at Lydia and found her covering her eyes.

"You just gonna sit there all day, Babes? Cause me? I got things to do, people to see, case working bitches to kill." He cackled out loud and his grin was still firmly in place when she peeked from beneath her hands. A cursory glace at her surroundings brought no sight of a sandworm.

"Are you sure it's gone?" she inquired as she got to her feet and began brushing the sand from her clothes.

"What do ya take me fer, Babes? Of course he's go—"

Of course it was never that easy and the sandworm burst from the ground again behind Beetlejuice only to dive at him from behind.

"BEETLEJU—" but he was already cursing and turning, barely making it in time to catch the creature's jaw with his hand. It was a terrifying sight: Beetlejuice staring down the giant, snapping maw of a sandworm, his body cracking with power and force as he shoved back against the giant weight of the big brute. Lydia stared in amazement as Beetlejuice seemed to gain ground with the animal that was over a hundred times his weight and size. He grunted with effort as the sandworm snapped its jaws and pushed back and then Beetlejuice's other hand shot out to grab the beast's lower jaw as well. He forced them closed and continued to push while the sandworm roared in outrage against the force.

Beetlejuice let loose a wild cackle and Lydia could see the pulse of energy force its way up his arms to shock the sandworm violently and it thrashed in response to the onslaught of pain reverberating through its body. He was gaining the upper hand, although Lydia somehow got the feeling this display of difficulty was all for show on his part. A show for her. She almost smiled, but the moment was ruined by the appearance of a second, much larger sandworm. Lydia screamed in warning and Beetlejuice let loose a long string of angry curses as the first worm used that moment to break free of his grasp. Beetlejuice hovered just above the sand as he eyes both warily. They all waited for the other to make the first move, but it was Lydia who did.

"Hey! You stripey freaks! This way!" she was waving her arms wildly above her head and both beasts immediately turned in her direction. The larger of the two roared as her, blasting waves of hot air and acrid breath her way. Lydia flinched and swallowed heavily the bile that rose in her throat. It was putrid, it really was. Beetlejuice was staring at her like she was crazy, and Lydia had to catch his eye and motion violently as both worms started to make their way toward her, intent on a easier appetizer before the main course. When Beetlejuice snapped out of his stupor he looked up to see the backs of both worms to her.

"Brave, Babes, and dumb as a stack a' wood." He grinned saucily and grabbed the smaller worm by the tail, yanking it and watching in satisfaction as it turned angrily to face him and screeched its attack. Beetlejuice merely cackled and lifted into the air, the tail of the worm still firmly grasped in both hands. The worm snapped at him, but the angle made it to awkward and it collapsed onto its side. Beetlejuice's hands crackled with energy as he lifted up, and up, and up, and the finally the body of the worm lifted from the warm sands below. Then he twisted his body with all his might, aware in his peripheral vision of the bigger worm advancing on Lydia who was looking more and more nervous each moment. The worm in his grasp began to spin in faster and faster circles along with Beetlejuice, and when enough momentum had been gained he waited for his moment and let go, watching in satisfaction as the smaller worm collided heavily with its larger counterpart with a sickening _thud_ and they both crashed into the ground, kicking up a storm of sand next to Lydia.

"Not too smart are ya, Babes? Why'd ya follow me here anyway?" he asked as he settled beside her.

She eyed the worms warily as they shifted in the sand and tangled each other. "What? Didn't you hear was Juno said? You can't get out of here yourself, Beej." she reminded, "That wasn't too bad, but I don't think they're out for the count yet." If their movements and moaning were any indication, it wouldn't be too long until they really were back up and coming for them again. Lydia didn't like the odds of two worms against one Beetlejuice.

"Well, Babes, what do you suggest we do? As you said, I can't get us out of here. And you sayin' my name… well, it's brought you to me again, and I got tha feelin' if you say it three times we ain't going nowhere." It was Lydia's turn to smirk and the expression made Beetlejuice's gut tighten. She looked absolutely delicious when she was being devious.

"I guess you really weren't listening to Juno. She told me how I could get home." Lydia took great pleasure in the dumbfounded look he gave her and in a bold move stepped forward until she was pressed up against him.

"Lyds, I'm flattered and under normal circumstances I'd be all over a hot piece of ass like—"

It was Lydia's turn to laugh in his face as she wrapped her arms around his middle, "Dream on, dead-man. I really hope this works. Home, home, home!"

It was a moment before either felt the pull, a long moment in which Lydia feared maybe it wouldn't work on Saturn, but then it was dark and Lydia felt that sickening, nauseous feeling of transportation between worlds. Lydia lurched against the poltergeist and felt Beetlejuice's grip on her tighten in surprise. The next thing Lydia knew they were back in her dorm room, papers from her desk were blowing around them in the wake of their arrival. Lydia stared at the striped suit in front of her as she took in the slightly cooler temperature and evening light. How long had she been gone? It had only been a day there, but here… Who knew how time here ran in comparison to the Neitherworld or Saturn?

A hand sliding up her thigh caught her attention and she yanked away, "Hey!" she cried in alarm.

"Aw, Babes, c'mon! I just saved yer ass!"

"That doesn't give you exclusive rights." Lydia turned from him to open her laptop on her desk.

"You givin' other guys rights, Lyds? Cause I gotta tell ya, I'm not much of a sharing guy."

Lydia snorted and turned her gaze to the corner of the screen. It had been over twenty-four hours since she left. She cursed; she'd missed a whole day of classes. That wasn't going to go over well. Two hands on her hips and cool breath on her neck interrupted Lydia's thoughts.

"I gotta admit, Babes, what you did was stupid, and foolish, ridiculous, and completely unnecessary. But I'm sure as hell glad ya did it." Lydia was frozen in place, leaning over her laptop and hyper aware of his hands on her.

"Well, I owed you one." She managed to murmur, straightening from his grip and turning to face him again. She felt safer when she could see him. The sight she was met with, however, did not make her feel safe in the slightest. Beetlejuice's lips were covered in a smirk that hid nothing of what he was thinking, and his eyes seemed to glow bright green in expectation. "And… I… wanted to tell you something." she stumbled over her words, as he seemed to loom over her.

"Oh?" he faked interest as he pressed one hand to the small of her back to pull her closer to himself. Soon he'd be free, and he was starting to think being married to this little spitfire of a girl may not turn out so bad for him either. She didn't run away from him, she'd come to him _twice_, and even saved his ass, and she was sexy to boot. If he could just get that kiss he'd be set.

"I… I-I… I wanted to tell you," she pushed half-heartedly at his chest, knowing she wouldn't get anywhere. He was a poltergeist, hundreds of years old, and at least a hundred times stronger than herself, "that I'm sorry," There was a sudden silence between the pair as their eyes met, and "for backing out of the deal we made I mean, I know I was sixteen. You weren't exactly being altruistic there, but you did hold up your end of the bargain… and a sandworm still ate you. I guess that's what I'm really sorry for. I just wanted Adam and Barbara safe, I didn't mean anything bad to happen to you."

Now Beetlejuice really thought she was crazy. Of course he _thought_ he deserved an apology for all the shit she put him through for four years, but he hadn't really expected to be offered one so readily. Now she was watching him expectantly, waiting for an answer and he couldn't bring himself to disappoint her. "Hell, Babes, what's done is done. I'm outta that waitin' room, I got my wife-to-be right here about to seal the deal and she even saved my ass from Saturn and sandworms. Lyds, I am the fucking luckiest poltergeist in all the realms right now." He was pleased to see the smile spread across her pretty face, "And now I pronounce us geist and wife." He swooped in to kiss her fiercely, her soft lips surprised against his cool ones.

She'd been right: he didn't have bad breath. His lips, although cool, were not cracked or dry like she would have expected. His tongue pressed to her lips and suddenly she needed to know how he tasted. Her lips parted and her mouth was invaded by his tongue and need was answered. He tasted like fall, all burning would and that in between cool sensation that came with the season, as well as what she could only describe as old books or parchment. It was surprising to say the least, and even more surprising was that Lydia enjoyed it. She found herself lifting her hands to tangle them in his dry, tangled hair to pull him closer. The hand he had on the small of her back slide down and then up and under her sweater to press coolly to hot flesh. He could feel the life tingling just under her skin, and was urged by her forwardness, though disappointed when she pulled away to catch her breath. She was panting and Beetlejuice's gaze was drawn to the rise and fall of her chest. How much air did humans need? He was just about to lean down to kiss her again when a searing pain lit up his chest. He gasped in surprise as another shock raced through his chest. He stumbled away from Lydia, one grimy hand clutching at where his dead heart rested. Lydia followed him, concern crossing her features as she grabbed at his arms when he stumbled backward again. Pain lanced through his every fibre and he sucked in a breath of pain. What the hell was happening?

"Beetlejuice what's wrong?" Lydia's voice broke through the haze of pain that was steadily gaining momentum.

"Don't know, Babes." He gritted out. A wave of nausea rose in his stomach and he felt himself settling on something soft and cool. Lydia had sat him on her bed, kneeling before him to watch his face twist in agony. Had the sandworms done something to him she hadn't noticed? She touched his arm and he flinched. His whole body felt like it was on fire! She laid him back on the bed just as he began to convulse.

"Beetlejuice? Beej! Shit, Beej, what's happening?"

He shook his head; her guess was as good as his. He gasped and sucked in a deep, much needed breath, but the pain only worsened. Lydia found herself at a loss. She had no idea what was happening, how could she? He was beginning to lose consciousness now, his vision blacking out from each sharp stab assaulting his body. Lydia even saw his eyes roll back before she noticed his skin had grown flushed, pinker. His chest was rising and falling in the regular pattern of someone who needed to breath, not someone who only did it because he could. Her mouth slid ajar as his lips flushed with colour and his hair thickened, darkened by a few shades, and became healthier looking—alive, Lydia realized as she stared down at the man laying unconscious on her bed; the man who now look to be about in his mid-thirties, and very much alive.

"Gods, Beej…" she breathed, staring down at his unmoving form, "This is one hell of a way to get permanently back to the living world.

Dark eyes stared down the bowing man before him. "You are certain?" the monotone voice queried.

"Certain, my liege." The informant replied, "I saw him myself in town, and _she_ was with him. She was a Breather in the Neitherworld, my lord. If he has any weakness, it must be her. She wears his ring, and she reeks of power. His and her own."

"Her own?" his attention was drawn now: a Breather with power? That could prove interesting… "Bring her here alive or dead."

**A/N: Oh-ho-ho! I bet we all know who is going to be making an appearance soon! The end of this chapter took much longer to write than I thought it would… Again, please read and review!**


	5. Lord What Fools These Mortals Be

**A/N: Yet another chapter! I had a hard time writing this, and feel it make be a bit filler-ish, but I ended up liking how this turned out. Shout outs to my reviewers below! I'd also just like to take a moment to let y'all know I've also got a one-shot on the way that I'm really enjoying writing. I'll try to finish it ASAP so I can concentrate and getting out the rest of this story!** Three days…

Beetlejuice had been unconscious for three days. They were three days Lydia spent trying to get some kind of food and drink into his system, not to mention the fact that the first day she'd been back she'd also had classes. That had been a hell of a day waiting impatiently and worrying through class. She'd arrived home to find Beetlejuice unchanged and her room still roommateless. Now it was Sunday evening and Lydia was worried he wouldn't wake up before a new week began. Currently, Lydia was working on getting her chemistry homework done and watching over Beetlejuice as he slept. She was lucky her roommate had been gone for the last few days… Lydia remembered her mentioning something about her sister's wedding down south. Lydia did not remember when she had said she would be returning, but figured she did not have long.

The rest of the night passed rather uneventfully from then. Lydia finished her homework, ate her dinner, and tried to get Beetlejuice to swallow some water. She went to sleep that night on the bed of blankets she'd made for herself on the floor. She'd been sleeping there the last few nights with Beetlejuice taking up her own bed since he'd risen from the dead. She watched him for a long time from the floor in the dark before falling asleep.

She awoke to the sound of a door opening and closing and sat up to look around slowly and groggily. What she found was that she was in her own bed, and Beetlejuice was nowhere to be found. "Shit. Beetlejuice?" she called, climbing from bed. She heard surprised cursing from the attached bathroom and a loud, shattering crash. She immediately rushed to the door and yanked it open, somewhat surprised to find it unlocked and even more surprised to see him glaring angrily at the shards of her now-broken bathroom mirror. Her eyes eventually landed on his hand, which was now bleeding.

"Damnit, Beej, what did you do?" the question was rhetorical of course, as what'd he'd done was more than obvious. She grabbed one of the hanging hand towels and twisted the cold water on in the sink. She grabbed his bleeding hand and turned it over, removing the large shard she saw in his palm before dousing it under the cold water to slow the bleeding, mindful of the glass shards rest in the bottom of the sink. His hand seemed to mesmerize him as he watched her take his hand from the cold water and run over it for the smaller glass shards before running it under the cold once more. Once fully rinsed, she pulled his hand out again and wrapped it tightly in the towel.

"You have to be more careful—"

His growling voice, which had changed none it seemed, interrupted her, "What tha' fuck happened to me, Babes?!" he exploded, his face horrified.

"You're… alive, Beej. Living just like the rest of us." She watched his face twist with many emotions in rapid succession.

"What the hell!?" he finally spit out, and it was obvious that he had yet to figure it out completely. Lydia led him from the bathroom and sat him on her bed.

"The curse, Beej, it's been lifted. And you got your freedom. All in one fell swoop. You're now a living, breathing resident of the mortal world. Literally." She pressed her hands around his towelled on and felt the light beat of his pulse through the fabric.

He gave her a long, intense stare before he finally exploded again, :Those bastards! I shoulda known they were never gonna play fair! When I get my hands on them I swear I am gonna wring their scrawny-"

"I don't think you can get back, Beej." It was Lydia's turn to interrupt and his gaze immediately fixed on her again.

"What d'ya mean, Lyds?" he asked gruffly.

"Try to use your juice to heal your hand, Beej." She urged gently, a deep pit of doubt creeping into her stomach. She watched as he tried, and then again, and finally concentrated until she thought he was going to burst… but still nothing happened.

"My juice! Lyds, fuck, they took my juice away! Shit, what am I going to do? I'm _human_!" he said the word with such disgust that it made Lydia angry.

"You got just what you wanted, Beetlejuice: out. And now you're just one of us powerless, little mortals. I guess you've never heard of 'be careful what you wish for', huh?" she snapped at him, glaring angrily.

When he looked up at her again she immediately regretted her outburst. His eyes were full of fear and uncertainty, a look she'd only seen when he'd set eyes on that sandworm Barbara rode that gobbled him up so many years ago. "Lyds," he began, taking her hand in his undamaged one, "Shit, Lyds, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I haven't been human in almost _seven hundred _years! I forgot how to be human, Lyds. I never thought I would be again, bein' dead and all. Hell, I don't even know what this pain in my stomach is." Immediately she felt bad for him again. He had even forgotten how to recognize hunger!

"Hunger, Beej, you're hungry." She stood and grabbed the box of granola bars from her desk and handed him one. "This is really one hell of a mess you've gotten us into isn't it?"

"Us?" he asked as he struggled with the wrapper of the first bar before he just tore it open using his teeth.

"Well, I can't exactly leave my husband out in the streets to rot, can I?"

That brought his customary grin ace. He stared at his ringed finger before crumpling the wrapper of the bar. He moved to shove the bit of trash into his pocket and let out a startled shout. "Not my pockets!" he cried in dismay. Lydia watched him turn out the right pocket of his black and white suit then awkwardly his left as well. Nothing fell out but a bit of lint, dirt, and a square of black leather. Lydia picked it up and was surprised to see it was a wallet. She opened it and stared at the I.D. she found inside. "Craven Barret Jacks." There was a long silence before Lydia burst into a fit of laughter.

Beetlejuice snatched it from her and stared at the small picture of his human face. "Man, could they have given me anymore of a kick in the ass for a name? Tch." He snorted in disbelief and threw the wallet back on the bed where Lydia picked it up again and began to rifle through it.

"There's got to be a thousand in cash in here, Beej. Plus the driver's liscense, birth certificate, social security and…" she pulled out a small certificate and immediately raised one brow, "and a marriage certificate, it seems." Beetlejuice leaned over to look at it.

"Craven and Lydia Jacks. What a fuckin' pair we make, Babes." He snickered and peeled back the edge of the towel to asses the damage.

"What are we going to do, Beej?" she asked, watching him.

He looked up, "I can think of more than a couple of things a pair of newlyweds can do." He leaned close and waggled his eyebrows provocatively at her.

"I'm serious, Beetlejuice! I live in a _dorm_. You're human now, you can't just uo and disappear at whim. Beej, you can't live with me in my dorm room."

He looked at her in disbelief, "You… you're kicking me out on the streets, Lyds?"

She shook her head vehemently. "No! I mean, not immediately… Listen, Beej, you need a job. A thousand in cash won't be enough to live on, and I'll help you find your own place. Until then you can stay here… As long as my roommate doesn't object." She watched his mouth turn downwards in a frown but didn't argue. The gears were already working in his head.

"Are you still hungry? We could go get breakfast. I don't have class until noon." She stood, gathering clothing for the day. She stopped to look at him, "And maybe we should pick you up something besides that grungy suit to wear. You can't wear that suit everyday."

Beetlejuice watched her as she disappeared into the bathroom to change. He was alive, breathing, bleeding, and human. What was he getting himself into? He sniffed at his shirt and wrinkled his nose, when did that start smelling so bad?

"Honey, I'm ho—oh!" the door had flown open to reveal a short blonde standing in the doorway. She was pale and wore glasses behind which say two very wide, surprised blue eyes. "Hello!" the greeting seemed an automatic recovery from her started outburst. Beetlejuice stared at her. A long, awkward silence stretched between them before the girl looked up and checked the number on the door, "Yep, this is my room." She turned back to look at the man sitting on her roommate's bed. "So who are you?"

He flashed her a confident smirk, crooking one leg up to rest his ankle on the opposing knee and leaning forward, "Craven Barret Jacks. I'm Lydia's husband."

The look on the small blonde's face was priceless. She looked around the room before inquiring, "Where is Lydia?"

Beetlejuice pointed at the bathroom and the girl honed in on the door, knocking on it sharply, "Lydia?"

"Kory?" the muffled and startled call came from behind the door before it was thrown open. Lydia's gaze flew between her roommate and Beetlejuice nervously. "Uh… I… Welcome back! How was… uhm, Barbados?"

"Cuba. But that's not important right now. Lydia, why didn't you tell me you were married?" the girls eyes alighted on the shattered mirror, the shards from which Lydia had swept into a pile as best she could. "And why is our mirror broken?"

"Oh shit, Kory, I am so sorry about that, I promise I'm going to report it and make sure they take it out of my deposit, I swear!" she floundered for an answer, "It's just, Bee—I mean _Craven_ is here because, well… He… Uh… Got laid off and got evicted from his place. He's stayed here the last couple of days and he… he hasn't been feeling too great. That's how the mirror ended up… broken." She shrugged helplessly.

Kory was frowning at her, "You have shit for luck, you know that?" she turned to Beetlejuice, "I hope you're feeling better, Craven." And in a startling fast move Kory had whipped around to point at Lydia, "He can stay here for however long he needs, but I'm still mad at you for not telling me you're _married_." Her roommate pouted, "And here I thought we were friends." She moved to throw her suitcase on her bed, "So what are you two lovebirds up to?"

"Heading out for breakfast. I'll clean the rest of that glass up when I get back, promise!" Lydia immediately piped up, grabbing her wallet and keys, "Come on, Craven, let's go." She gave him a look that said 'move now' and headed for the door, "See you later!"

"Bye! Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" Lydia heard her roommate giggling as the door closed behind them.

"Your roommate?" Beetlejuice snickered at the dismayed expression written clearly across Lydia's face.

"That… did not go as planned, but better than I expected." She finally conceded, more to herself than him.

"So breakfast, Lyds?"

"Yes, Beej, we'll go feed that gluttonous stomach of yours."

"Hey, this stomach hasn't eaten in seven centuries, Babes. A man's gotta eat!"

She eyed him from the corner of her eye. "Yea, yea, whatever."

Lydia stared down at the chemistry assignment in front of her, trying to ignore that incessant noise in her ear. It was sort of a wheezing, gagging noise and it was getting. On. Her. Nerves.

"Stop it!" she snapped finally. Beetlejuice looked up from the television show he was watching.

"I'm bored, Babes, how long is this homework thing going to take?"

"Until I'm done, Beej." She glanced across the room where her roommate was currently buried in a pair of large headphones and a monstrous looking English text. "And I thought I told you to read through those classifieds?" she continued.

"I did, it's all shit." He complained.

"It's not like you have a resume, Beej."

"Hey, I got _years_ of experience at all sorts of things." He argued.

Lydia only snorted, "Yea, at eating bugs and terrorizing innocents. I don't think that's going to go over well with possible future employers."

"Did I mention my good looks and charming personality?" That made Lydia laugh outright, and Beetlejuice smiled proudly.

"Look again, Beej, you have to get something." She urged, turning back to her homework. Beetlejuice sighed in frustrated but she heard the crinkle of the newspaper.

It was late when Lydia finally finished and collapsed on her bed. Beetlejuice watched her from the chair he'd taken up residence in across from the television before a subtle, seductive smirk crossed his features. Lydia's roommate had long since gone to bed and Beetlejuice stood on quiet feet—a talent he was pleased to have kept—and dropped himself carefully on the bed over her.

"Beej!" it came out in a startled hiss as she looked over her shoulder and glared at him.

He attempted and innocent smile, "Yea?"

"Get off."

"But Lyds, where am I gonna sleep?"

"On the floor."

"Babes!" she immediately shushed him, "Babes, how could you do that to your loving hubby?"

"Easily." She snapped in a low voice, "Floor. Now."

"A husband not sleeping with his wife… You're gonna make your roomie there suspicious? I mean, what's she gonna think if we ain't sleeping together?"

She glared at him, and hated to admit it, but he was right… in a way. She didn't want her roommate asking any uncomfortable questions. Any.

"Fine, but any funny business and I will kick you where all mortal men fear to be kicked." He grinned and rolled to his side. Lydia had the most powerful urge to wipe that smug look of triumph from his face, but instead turned her back to him and promptly closed her eyes. If she had been watching she would have been pleased to see his face fall. He bounced back immediately as a new idea struck him. He reached out and pulled her against him. She immediately tensed in his arms.

"I said no funny business." Beetlejuice found her angry tone sexy, but he resisted goading her on and stuck with his original plan. He buried his nose in her had and inhaled deeply, surprised by how good she smelled.

"'m cold." He murmured into the back of her neck, smiling as he felt her shiver under his lips.

"Oh." She squeaked, horrified by how high her voice sounded. "Okay." She let out a slow breath. About the only thing she had going to her right now was the fact that he couldn't see how red her face had turned.

**A/N: Thanks so much to Kawaii-wasabi for being my first reviewer, and Fabulous for reading my fic after I've been reading yours so long, and for Ceysna for reviewing today and cheering me up on a day that was turning out not so great! You guys are my heroes!**


	6. Rack of Roast Husband

**A/N: I had this chapter done this morning but I finished it so late I literally had to run out the door for work before I could post it. Enjoy!**

The time was moving about as fast as cold molasses going uphill for Beetlejuice. He glared at Lydia's clock, it was already three in the afternoon and Lydia's last class had ended over fifteen minutes ago. What was taking her so long? Beetlejuice would be the first to admit he was an impatient man. So to distract himself he let his mind wander to this morning and the very pleasant morning he'd had. It had been a slow transition into the conscious world, not like the disorienting morning before, and he had been pleasantly surprised to find himself warm and even more surprised at the weight on his chest. He'd looked down to discover Lydia curled up on his chest, one of her arms tossed possessively over his chest and her legs tangled with his. Unwilling to lose such an enjoyable moment he remained still and watched her sleep. Eventually he began to stroke her back, letting his hand trail under the hem of her shirt and over pale, warm skin. The sigh that escaped her lips was completely unplanned and unexpected, but more than welcome. He craned his neck to look across the room, more than aware that her roommate may still be there. When he was greeted with the sight of an empty bed across the way he couldn't stop himself. He shifted beside her onto his side and ran his free hand down the length of her body and back up again, watching as she shifted beneath his touch. His head dipped down and he pressed a kiss to her neck, inhaling deeply. She made a small noise and started awake to find him over her, grinning that depraved grin that hadn't changed an ounce.

"What the hell?" was her immediate and groggy reaction. She pushed him away angrily and sat up. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Couldn't resist when I woke to find you wrapped around me, Babes." He grinned.

"I was not!" she denied, flushing.

Beetlejuice smiled at the memory of the rest of that morning. Their argument had grown heated and so had he. It was only her escape to the bathroom that had interrupted them, and then she'd left with a short announcement on when she'd return.

He looked at the clock again it read ten after three. Where was she?

Lydia sighed, scratching down the answer to the last question of the exam. Her psychology class had run long today for its midterm and Lydia was lucky that she generally enjoyed psychology or she would have completely flunked the midterm. She'd be lucky to get even a decent grade on this as unprepared as she had been. She dropped off the exam booklet and glanced at the clock. It was almost three-thirty, Beej was going to be pissed.

That thought stopped her. Let him be pissed! Perverted jerk. She continued on her way, enjoying the warm spring air and early summer sun. She crossed the courtyard, making her way back to the other side of the campus and her dorm. The campus was busy at this time of day and Lydia did not feel the gaze of her stalker. He glared at the disgusting mortals that dared look at him and followed the girl purposely. It was still too crowded, but he would have his moment soon. The little mortal girl couldn't be left alone every moment of the day. He would get her, bring her back to his prince, and become his master's favourite. He sneered; hopefully he would kill the living bitch as soon as he handed her over. Zanser did not like mortals, he had never liked mortals and he did not intend to start with her because his master had some dreary fascination with the little girl who had freed the beast.

She turned a corner to cross the upper parking lot and was relieved as things immediately quieted. She followed the back wall of the building and turned another corner and immediately collided with a solid mass of flesh. She looked up, startled, and her brow knit together in confusion.

"Where the hell you been, Lyds?" Beetlejuice stood before her in all his mortal glory. She was wearing a plain black t-shirt and black jeans and Lydia was finally struck by the strangeness of the whole situation. He looked positively weird in regular clothing and Lydia found herself missing the dirty striped suit currently taking a vacation in her hamper.

"I had a test that ran long. What are you doing here, Beej?"

"Looking for you." He replied.

"No, I mean how did you find me?"

He shrugged, "I just went looking, Babes. Look, are we gonna head back? I'm fucking hungry." Lydia rolled her eyes and strode past him. He caught up and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, which she immediately shrugged off. He only grinned and pulled her to him more firmly, not allowing her to squirm away this time. As the couple made their way across campus Beetlejuice glanced back over his shoulder. There weren't many people around but he frowned nonetheless. Someone had been watching them and Beetlejuice did not like it one bit. He glared at the non-existent stalker and turned back to Lydia, who was asking him what he wanted for lunch.

"No idea, Babes, surprise me."

If there was one thing worse than the despicable mortals he had to surround himself with it was the monster standing beside the mortal his master wanted. He stayed discreetly out of sight as he watched the pair exchange words and continue on their way. This wouldn't do, Beetlejuice couldn't know Lydia was gone until after the deed was done. His master had been very specific about that; the Prince felt that Beetlejuice could still be a very powerful hindrance to him if he found out about their little plan. So Zanser waited patiently, and followed when he was sure the now-mortal Beetlejuice was no longer looking.

"I can't believe it, Lyds! I mean, what the hell did she want from me!"

"I don't know, Beej, maybe for you to stop staring at her chest?" she was walking fast down the street away from the building at which Beetlejuice had just had an interview. It was the third place they'd been to that day and Beetlejuice was frustrated, but he didn't understand why Lydia seemed so angry. He put his own frustrations on hold, highly interested in the angry little pout twisting her features.

"I don't know why you're so upset, Babes, it's me they're harrassin' with all their damn questions." If he knew the little goth, and he felt he did, it wouldn't be too hard to get her to spill. She seemed to enjoy getting angry at him. He was right.

"I don't know, Beej, maybe because you're not even trying? It's like this is some joke to you. You need money to live in this world and maybe that a new concept for you but you're going to have to get used to it pretty quick."

He shook his head, that wasn't it. "You weren't mad after the other two."

"You spent the entire time staring at her chest!" Ah-ha, there it was. He grinned as realization dawned on him. She was jealous. Beetlejuice licked his lips and slid his arm around her waist. She stiffened and he tightened his grip as she predictably tried to move away.

"Babes, you know she meant nothing to me."

"That's not the point!" she snapped.

"So you are jealous!" he announced triumphantly, pleased with himself for using her against herself so well. Lydia didn't know how to respond so she remained silent. The wide grin was all she needed to know exactly how he was feeling and she attempted a dark glare. She hated to admit it but it was true, she had been so angry to watch him stare at that woman's chest the entire time she was talking to him. She hated it even more when he started to rub her face in it. "You know I wouldn't mind starin' at your chest instead, Lyds. I know you may not look like it at first glance but I bet you got a smokin' rack under there, even if it's not as big as that chick's back there." He motioned to her shirt.

That was it for her, she yanked herself roughly from his grip and glared at him, "Fuck you, Beetlejuice. I wish you'd just go back to rotting. I try to help you and I just get all your fucking bullshit. You can go find your own job." She turned to storm away, "And your own bed to sleep in!"

He watched her storm off with all the intelligence of a deer caught by the glare of oncoming headlights. He wasn't sure what had just happened but he knew he didn't like it. Women. What the hell was he supposed to do? He stared as she disappeared around the street corner and fumbled about for a moment before a sign across the way caught his attention and he felt in the back pocket of his jeans for his wallet. He gripped it tightly and crossed the street to the bar.

Lydia stared at the ceiling, it was almost ten in the evening now and he still hadn't come back. Her anger hadn't dissipated; it was only pushed aside by the growing worry in the pit of her stomach. It had been hours. She wondered if he even remembered the way back to campus… There was a sound from the door and Lydia immediately sat upright as it swung open. The sight that greeted her was possibly the weirdest thing she'd seen all day, and Lydia had had a not-so-normal day to begin with.

"Kory?" she hissed, hopping out of her bed to help her roommate with the dead weight that seemed to be her husband.

"I found him wandering the streets on my way home from Dean's." she explained. Lydia slid underneath his other arm and they maneuvered him over to Lydia's bed where he collapsed with a groan. Lydia's nose wrinkled in disgust, he smelled heavily of alcohol.

"Ugh, I can smell what he's been doing."

"Did you guys have a fight?" Lydia avoided looking at her roommate.

"Yea, I guess we did."

"Looks like he took it pretty hard." Lydia raised a brow at this and finally looked at the blonde girl, "Well, he spent the whole ride home moaning your name and talking about nice 'knockers'." She admitted.

Lydia was horrified as she stared down at the man on her bed, "I am so sorry, Kory."

"Don't sweat it. Dean and I have had our fair share of fights over the years."

"I swear, we spent most of today job hunting and apartment searching… before we fought. He'll be out soon, I promise."

"It's fine, Lydia. Really, I don't mind." Lydia shook her head, indicating her disbelief, "Fine, in truth I'm a little relieved. You're a nice person, Lydia, but I was starting to think your life was must be dreadfully boring." The girl smiled and Lydia laughed.

"Oh yea, he certainly solved that boring problem I had going. Listen, I need to step outside a moment, clear my head. If he wakes up could you tell him he needs to drink water and take some painkillers, please?" when she saw Kory nod she continued, "I won't be long, I promise. Thanks so much."

"Sure." Kory nodded, grabbing a change of clothes and heading to the bathroom.

Lydia stared down at Beetlejuice for a long moment as he started shifting on the bed. Without notice his eyes flung themselves open and he stared up at her in surprise.

"Lyyyds." He wiped a hand down his face, "Lyds! It's yer rack I like. I sweeeear." He was still very drunk and Lydia raised a brow, wondering if she should hold this against him, "Shhhhhhit." He slurred, "S'not what I mean. I mean I don't like her rack. I mean, I do, but not like I like yoooours." He tried to sit up and that's when Lydia intervened.

"Go back to sleep, Beej."

"No, yer mad at me, Lyds, and 'm lost. Can't find yer stupid school."

"Kory brought you back. We're home, you're in bed and you need to go back to sleep." She pushed on his shoulders and was surprised to find them unmoving. For a drunken man he sure was stubborn.

"Noooo. Yer still mad, Lyds. I can see it in yer eye." He grabbed her wrist and pointed at his own in emphasis but managed to poke it instead. He cursed, letting her go and rubbing it.

"How much did you drink tonight, Beej?"

"Don't be mad at me, Lyds." He really had a one-track mind.

Lydia sighed, "Fine, I'm not mad at you, Beej."

He seemed to relax then, "Good." He mumbled. "Yer m'Babes, can't have you mad at me. We're married, married people don't go t'bed mad."

"Go back to sleep, Beej."

"Where you goin'?" came the slurred reply even as he lay down.

"Just for a little walk, I'll be right back." He merely nodded and yawned, stretching out on her bed. Lydia watched his chest rise and fall with fascination before she grabbed her coat and with one last look at the once again unconscious ex-poltergeist, left.

Outside it was cold and slightly damp, but Lydia didn't mind. She stood outside the front of her dorm building and watched the odd person scurry across the courtyard. This was getting to be too much for her. Why did he have to go and practically drool all over another woman when he was married to her? Why did she even care that he did? It's not like she was attracted to him… or… anything. She sighed. She'd never been good at lying to herself. Why else would she have been saying his name all these years if she didn't feel some twisted sort of attraction for him? Lydia just couldn't describe the feeling. It hadn't been physical at first, just interest in how he'd spoken to her like she was the one running her own life, not her parents. Then, she admitted, maybe she'd heroized him a little while he was gone and when she met him again had expected too much. His green eyes floated into her vision and she was surprised to note they looked the same whether he was poltergeist or human, that she found mesmerizing and, yes, attractive. Had she always thought that? She wasn't sure. They always caught her attention, even when she was trying to look at something else.

She pictured him then as a poltergeist, and afterward as his human self. There were the few odd—

"Miss Lydia Deetz?" the voice surprised her from her reverie and her eyes snapped open to land on a short figure standing not five feet from her. She hadn't even heard anyone walking up to her. She looked around to find not another soul in sight.

"Who are you?" she asked finally.

"My Master requests your presence immediately, Miss Deetz."

"Uhm, what?" she asked dumbly.

"You are to come with me. My Master requires I ask you formally as to give you the choice to come without a fuss, but if you deny I will take great pleasure in dragging you there." He was wearing a hood and Lydia could not see his face beneath it but she knew he was grinning at her.

She stepped backward, "If you try anything I'll scream." It was a weak threat, she knew, and the figure did not respond to it.

"If you come with me quietly there will be no hassle, Miss Deetz. I have already explained that." Oh Zanser may have explained that, and he would hardly dare go against his Master's wishes if the girl did choose to come quietly, but he hoped with his entire being she did not.

Zanser was not disappointed, Lydia turned and sprinted for the door leading back to her residence and Zanser was quick to follow. She barely made it to the door when he caught up to her and reached out, intent on yanking her back by her hair. That was, until he was bowled over by a heavy weight. He hit the ground and the weight rolled off of him and away. He looked up to see what he least wanted to: that monster-turned-human.

Beetlejuice still swayed under the influence of the alcohol. He looked between the figure on the ground and the shocked Lydia staring at him. He grinned as best he could at her, feeling proud for having saved her from her attacker. Then the attacker was getting up and Beetlejuice was no longer pleased. The figure pulled his hood back to reveal a contorted face that may have been human once, but was nothing of the sort now. Never healed contusions lacerated his face and his features where all mixed up and out of order. Hair lined only one half of his skull and his mouth, somewhere over his right cheekbone, sneered.

Beetlejuice had ruined his Master's plan, but that was not his fault. He would get the human anyway. He turned away from Beetlejuice and moved toward Lydia again. Beetlejuice lifted heavy feet to follow him, intent on not letting him touch Lydia. This was just what Zanser wanted, however, and turned to catch Beetlejuice by the throat with one hand and squeeze. Beetlejuice had never been choked like this before and immediately started to gasp for air and rip at the dead man's hand, glaring darkly. Lydia watched on in horror as Beetlejuice's face started to discolour from the lack of oxygen. She did the only thing she could think of.

"I'll go! I'll go, just let him go!"

Zanser looked over his shoulder at the little mortal and then back to Beetlejuice. He didn't want to let go, but it if meant fulfilling the Master's plans the quickest… He frowned and threw Beetlejuice against the wall of the building where he collapsed with his head lolled to one side. Lydia made to rush to his side but the sharp grip on her wrist stopped her. She stared at the… thing holding her and tugged, "Let me go, I need to make sure he's alright!"

"He will live. We are going to go now." Lydia tugged against his grasp but without luck and immediately after everything went pitch black. She could still feel his grip on her wrist, so she knew she was still conscious. When the light returned she gasped as she registered her surroundings. _What was this place?_

**A/N: RubyDesires: I haven't yet, no, but I will definitely take a look at your archive soon!**

**Fabulous: I'm glad to entertain and that you like it so much! I enjoy your story a lot, too, which is why I need updates! Why haven't you updated!? Please do it soon! And this is the first non-oneshot I've really followed through on, so this is really becoming a big achievement for me. **

**Ceysna: I'm really glad you're enjoying it so much! And, well, as you can see… He hasn't quite gotten there yet?**


	7. The Prince and I

**A/N: Again, had this ready this morning and EVEN thought I had time to post it but we apparently had to leave early this morning and no one gave me the memo! Enjoy. I ended up really enjoying this random chapter. And it turned out longer then planned.**

Beetlejuice groaned and tried to curl further into himself. He felt like shit, his head hurt and he was cold, hungry, and had the sinking feeling that he wasn't remembering something that was very important. He blinked blearily at his surroundings and the events of the previous night came rushing back to him and he immediately attempted to stumble to his feet. Instead he found himself falling and landing hard on an equally hard floor. Confused, he stumbled to his feet, shaking his arm as he felt something entangling it. What was going on? He stared around and blinked a few times, everything was bright and white so he tried blinking his vision clear again. It didn't change she he turned around; there was a bright square of light he assumed must be a window, and he looked down, relieved to be able to make out that he'd just tumbled from a bed. He yanked at his arm, something was still tugging at it and he looked down to see an I.V. jutting from his arm.

"What the fuck!?" his voice cracked and he coughed, realizing how dry his throat was; he ignored it for the sake of ripping the I.V. out of his arm. He growled in pain as it didn't come out all the way on the first try and he yanked it once more to remove it completely. That was when he realized where he must be: a hospital. More and more of the previous night were coming back. Fuck, he'd drank so much at that bar… he remembered the night streets and an angry group of kids… and then someone putting him into a car. He didn't remember much between then and when he saw Lyds next. He didn't remember anything that had been said, but he did remember waking again to find her gone and stumbling down the stairs of the residence to find her outside with a figure that reeked of death. He also remembered it didn't go to well for him after that. His head ached and his stomach lurched. Fuck, Lydia was gone.

"God I think I've just seen more of you that I ever wanted to, Craven." He spun around to see Kory standing in the doorway. He looked down, staring at the blue gown-like thing he was wearing. He looked back up at her in confusion.

"What?"

"Well, hospital gowns have always been more or less a little drafty in the back, you know."

He craned his neck to look over his shoulder and realized what she meant; the thing was frigging barely held together in the back! People thought strippers wore revealing clothing, and yet sick people were expected to--

"Craven?" she interrupted his line of thought and he looked up.

"That's not my name, girlie." He didn't even remember her name.

"What?"

"That name is bullshit. It's not real." He wasn't really paying attention to her anymore. Every moment his mind was clearing more and more and the reality of what happened last night was sinking in and he was growing more and more serious.

"What's going on here? That's not your real name? Who are you? And where's Lydia? When I came out of the bathroom last night you were gone, Lydia wasn't back yet. She didn't come back, and neither did you. I found you unconscious outside our residence building this morning when I went to leave for class." There was silence in the room like he hadn't even heard her and the buxom blonde was growing irritated and impatient. "Lydia's not the kind to do that. I've been her roommate for almost a year now, she's quiet and spends most of her nights in. I think the only time she hadn't was when she went home for the holidays. Now you're suddenly around, I find out she's married to you and she's suddenly disappearing overnight? What's going on?" she held no delusions that Lydia and herself were best friends or anything even close. They were roommates who got along well enough to call each other friends even though they didn't really spend much time together outside of their dorm room. Still, that didn't stop Kory from getting angry with the man who she just knew had something to do with her roommate's disappearance. A dorm room wasn't exactly a private place, it was hard to ignore people coming in and out of a room that served as kitchen, study, living room and bedroom, and Kory hadn't woken to anyone returning once through the night.

"I don't know where she is--" He began.

"Bullshit." He spun to face the small blonde in surprise; she was almost standing next to him now.

"Will you fucking listen to me?" when she didn't interrupt again, he continued, "I don't know where she is—_not exactly_. I know where she was taken but it's a big place to search, and I don't have a way to get there."

"Taken?" she moved closer, pressing her index finger harshly into his chest. "I swear if she gets hurt and you were the cause?" she paused for emphasis and Beetlejuice snorted.

"And what?" he demanded, "What're you going to do? You're what, five foot nothing? I'm real scared, shakin' in my boots."

She tried a different route, "Alright. What kind of danger is she in? You said she was taken? Is that your fault? What happens if the people who took her hurt her? How will you feel if she dies?"

"Lyds won't die!" he asserted.

She huffed, "What are you, stupid? She's human just like you and I, she can die just like either of us."

"That's it!" he grabbed her shoulders as realization hit him, "I can die!" she squirmed in his grasp, more and more uncomfortable by the moment.

"Well, you are human." She agreed slowly.

"No, I'm not, and that's the point. Don't you see? Ya gotta kill me!" If silence could echo, it would have done so in that moment as she stared slack-jawed at him.

"That is possibly the stupidest idea I have ever heard." She finally managed.

"No. Fuck, listen. I ain't human. Well, I am now. But I wasn't last week. I'm a poltergeist, girlie, and I was dead up until Lyds set me free. That bastard took her over to the other side and I can't get there. Not unless I'm dead."

"You are crazy." Kory backed up, yanking herself free of his grip. "I'm getting the cops."

"Shit! No, you can't do that!" he made a lunge for her and she shrieked and ran for the door. He lumbered after her and she threw herself into the hallway, screaming.

Lydia breathed in the cool air. Why was the Neitherworld so cold? It floated over the hot deserts of Saturn, didn't it? She rubbed her arms and looked around the empty room. She'd been sitting alone here for the last hour… or hours. She'd lost count. It was dead quiet even though she knew that guards stood at attention outside the door to the room she currently sat in. The chair she sat in was plush and velvet and very comfortable. Under normal circumstances Lydia would have been all over it, but as it was it was the last thing on Lydia's mind.

The footsteps outside the door gained Lydia's attention as she turned to watch the closed doors. She could hear the guards outside move outside and heard their salute. There were quiet words and then the door shifted and swung open. Lydia stayed perfectly still where she sat and watched as the guards marched in. The first one reminded her vaguely of a fish with a mostly flat face and almost non-existent nose, and the other looked very much like a horrific burn victim. Lydia quickly averted her eyes and looked to the next person to enter the room. She was surprised to see a tall, slender figure enter. He was dressed completely in black and seemed almost willowy. Her eyes travelled up to his face and she traced thin, refined features in a delicate face and large, round dark eyes topped by a head of sleek, black hair. His eyes met hers, and did not defer even after she had looked away.

"You may leave." His voice was soft, but still seemed to fill the room. It was musical and made Lydia feel vaguely sad. She barely noticed as the two guards left the room. Silence stretched between the two as they seemed to size each other up.

"Miss Lydia it is good to finally meet you."

"Who are you and what do you want with me?

They had spoken simultaneously and it brought a thin but sincere-looking smile to his face.

"Did Zanser not tell you? I apologize, he is a little… anxious around humans. They did not treat him right in his life. I merely wished to meet with you to sate my own curiousity. I apologize for my selfishness." His shoes clacked formally against the floor as he crossed the remaining space between them. He quietly took a seat across from her. He had her completely baffled; his explanation explained nothing, really.

"Miss Lydia?"

"Oh, sorry, what?"

"I asked if you were treated well on your journey here." He prompted.

She grew angry then as she thought about her run-in with 'Zanser'. "No." she huffed angrily, "No I was not. Your… man? Servant? Whatever he is. He approached me in the middle of the night like some thug, told me nothing of what this was about, threatened me, attempted to make good on that threat and then… then he beat up Beetlejuice, who I think he knew very well could no longer defend himself properly against someone from the Neitherworld!" she snapped heatedly. She still didn't know if he was all right.

"You have my sincerest apologies, Miss Lydia. I meant no such thing to happen, and Zanser has clearly overstepped his bounds. He will be dealt with appropriately, I assure you." He looked sincere, but Lydia was still weary.

"I somehow doubt you really brought me here to chat, uhm…" she trailed off as she realized he hadn't even introduced himself.

Lydia swore in that moment he had blushed, "Forgive me, Miss Lydia, I have erred. I have not introduced myself, I am Prince Vincent Van Grimmig." Lydia's eyebrows disappeared under her bangs as they jumped up.

"What would a Prince want to speak with me for?" the question was out of her mouth before she could think about it.

He merely smiled at her, "You are married to Beetlejuice, are you not?"

Of course it always came back to the poltergeist she'd married. "Well, yes Prince—"

"Please," he interrupted, "call me Vincent. You are my guest, and I have caused you much trouble. I don't wish for you to have to worry about formalities here as well."

"All right, then… Yes, Vincent, we are married." She spun the ring idly on her finger.

"I will not deny I am surprised. You do not seem like one to be attracted to such a troublemaker. Especially after he terrorized your family so all those years ago?" he crooked one leg over the other, propping his angled chin up on a slender hand.

"He saved my godparents." It was an old argument.

"It's one good deed on a very short list." Vincent did not comment on the fact that he'd been trading his good deed for his freedom. If anything this only made Lydia strengthen her guard.

"At least he had a list. I know humans who have done less good than him."

"And you felt bad for breaking your deal?"

How did he know that? "I… Yes."

Beetlejuice raced down the hall after Lydia's roommate, who was screaming like the hounds of hell were nipping at her heels. _Damnit_. People were staring and he heard someone else shouting behind them. They both rounded a corner and Beetlejuice came to a sudden stop in front of a group of Doctors and two police officers that were all now staring at him.

"That's him!" he spied Kory near the back of the group.

"Now, sir—"

"Oh fuck no." Beetlejuice turned and sprinted back the way he came and was not surprised to hear the heavy footfalls of many people following him.

"Stop!" "Hey you!" "Come back!" "Stop running!" multiple voice called from behind him but he knew if he stopped now he would not be able to complete his plan. He tore around another corner, dodging patients, nurses, and other doctors alike. There was a door at the end of the hall and he burst through it to find a staircase. He immediately started racing down the stairs as fast as his legs could carry him. He heard the door above open again and moved faster. One floor down and he burst through the door to that floor. It was much busier here and he had a rough time negotiating the crowd at first, but it thinned out a little finally and he looked around for a place to hide. People were beginning to shout behind him so he chose a door at random and ducked inside. He locked it behind him.

"Sir, you can't be in here." Beetlejuice spun at the voice, turning to see a man dressed in black pants and a paramedic's shirt standing there with a clipboard. They were surrounded by machinery currently not in use. Beetlejuice held up one finger to his mouth for silence, but the man just continued on, "Which ward did you come from? I'm sure there's some very worried people looking for you."

Beetlejuice shook his head; the only person who would worry about him wasn't here to do so. The shouting outside increased and Beetlejuice glanced out the small, rectangular window.

"Sir, what's going on? Is something happening out there?" Beetlejuice spun once again to look at the paramedic.

"What's all this stuff do?" he asked, trying to distract the man as he thought of a way out. Maybe they would think he'd just kept going?

"I don't see how that's relevant right now, sir. I think you really should—" Beetlejuice glanced to the side and grabbed one of the stands that would normally carry an I.V. drip. It was empty now, of course, seeing as this was a storage room.

"Tell me what this stuff does or I will beat yer livin' brains out with my giant metal stick." There had to be something in this room that could kill him. Something.

The paramedic stared at him, "Sir—"

"TELL ME." Beetlejuice roared. He didn't really have the urge to hurt the guy, he just needed a way to get dead and he needed it _now_. He had no time for this bullshit.

"This is a heart monitor, these are spare beds, that's a defibrillator, that's—"

"What's a defiberlator?" he demanded, staring at the machine indicated.

"It's a machine used when a person has cardiac arrhythmias, ventricular fibrillation and pulseless ventricular tachycardia. Basically when their heart stops. We deliver a pulse of electrical energy straight into their chest to help start their hea—"

"Can it kill a person?"

"What?"

"_Can it kill_? What are you, deaf?"

"Well, I, uh, yes, I suppose it could kill if—"

"Turn it on." There was a moment where neither of them moved, then Beetlejuice took a threatening step closer, and suddenly there was pounding on the other side of the locked door.

"We know you're there! Open up!" the face of one police officer appeared in the narrow window and Beetlejuice only shot the briefest glance over his shoulder.

"Do it now!" Beetlejuice growled. The man hopped to, finding a plug for the machine. There was dust on it; it was an older model that the hospital had put away on receiving new ones. He fiddled with a few dials and then stepped away. "How do you turn the juice up?" Beeltejuice stepped closer. The man pointed to a dial. "You just press those things to your chest?" The man nodded and Beetlejuice waved the metal pole at him, indicating for the man to move away. He made a break for the door but Beetlejuice was already cranking the knob to maximum.

"I'm comin', Lyds." He dropped the pole and grabbed the handles of the paddles. He shoved them to his chest and for a moment nothing happened, and suddenly electricity was coursing through his body and he had to grit his teeth. Then he collapsed.

The paramedic finally got the door open and the group of doctors and police finally came rushing in. The lights flickered, and went out. The whole hospital went dark.

"_It's showtime!"_

**A/N: I don't think defibrillators can actually kill someone in real life, so if they don't just pretend they can. And if they do, good on me!**

**The-Fabulous-Person: I totally hate Nick more. But I'll try to make Zanser more despicable for you. He will be returning. :D**

**Kawaii-Wasabi: I love drunk Beej too. And I just can't see him really being drunk as a poltergeist, so human Beej was a real treat to make drunk.**

**Ceysna: Oh yea, it sucks alright. Guess what? It's showtime! I hope you enjoyed!**


	8. Picture Perfect

**A/N: I didn't realize the e-mail notifications send a reply link for reviews. Oh well, I like replying post-chapter better. Anyway, I got a little stuck about halfway through this chapter. I thought was ended up being a little less than the first half of the chapter would end up longer, but it didn't… So I took a break, came back, and the rest just spewed out. XD Also, Beej as human was really hard and ooc-feeling to write. XD I hope now that he's back he'll feel more right as I write him**

"_It's showtime!"_

The cackling echoed off the walls around them and silenced the murmuring of the doctors and police. Wind picked up in the windowless room and when the lights flashed on again the paddles of the defibrillator lay on the floor next to the empty space where the body should have been.

"He's gone!" One of the officers announced, "How did he get past us?" the room was not a big room; it should have been impossible to get past the five bodies crowding the doorway. It was then that the door slammed shut behind them and they turned in unison to stare at it.

"Easily." The voice had them turning once more to stare at the man in the striped suit with wiry blonde hair, pale skin that seemed to be moulding, and luminous, haunting green eyes. "Especially when yer the Ghost with the Most." He cackled and the lights went out again. The only light filtered in from the small, rectangular window in the door. After a moment, even that went out.

Hours later when the fire fighters were finally able to remove the door and get the two officers, two doctors, and the paramedic out of the storage room they could get no intelligible words from them on what had happened in that room. All five were diagnosed as having had severe mental breaks, but no physical trauma or injury was discovered in any of their tests. The body of the man they had supposedly been chasing was never found. It was assumed he had merely gotten away although the paramedic, who had made the most complete recovery of the five, swore by a fantastic tale of poltergeist and monsters. The kind of stuff real nightmares were made of.

"Your gardens are so deadly-vu!" Lydia exclaimed as they walked through the dreary and drooping, grey and black trees. She hadn't used the term 'deadly-vu' in years and it felt like an old friend.

"I am glad you like it. You should come see the roses, I am sure you will like them very much." Lydia nodded and Vincent steered them from the path, left, and through the wall of trees into a clearing against the garden wall. Rose bushes lined the stone wall, Lydia's eyes lit up at the sight of them.

"I wish I had my camera!" she exclaimed, leaning over to touch the petals of one. The bloomed black, and Lydia had seen that before although usually because they were coloured that way, but these looked natural. Their petals felt like velvet, but that was not their only unusual feature: their stems and leaves were bright, vibrant red.

"I could have a camera brought to you. You are welcome to stay here a while or to come back whenever you please."

Lydia smiled at him and nodded, "I would like that." He still hadn't answered any of her important questions, like what she was really doing her, or when she could go home, but he had yet to treat her badly. Except for his little errand boy, Zanser, she had been treated like royalty. This was not enough to make her comfortable, but she saw no reason not to enjoy the sights while she was here. She _had_ told Beetlejuice all those years ago she wanted in. She was not as depressed as she once had been, however, but she was still overjoyed to be visiting the Neitherworld, to be in a place where she felt she fit in; with the people, with the surroundings, even the atmosphere here seemed to suit her more. It wasn't like she was able to go anywhere; guards were constantly patrolling the corridors, standing in doorways, watching from parapets, and generally in every place they could think of. They all wore spotless, black armour and carried a variety of weapons to suit their own unique appearances and abilities.

Two of those very guards were just now strolling the wall above them and watching the pair discretely. Lydia was about to ask them what they were looking at when a noise from the trees behind her startled her. A young, deceased woman around her own age emerged from the other side of the foliage carrying what was obviously a camera, which she presented formally to Lydia. Lydia looked from the girl to Vincent and back.

"You wished for a camera to take pictures, did you not?" he motioned to the bag the girl held, "I do not know if it up to your usual standards, but you are more than welcome to use it while you are here. He watched intently as she opened the case and pulled out a camera like she'd never seen before. She gripped it and it seemed to mould itself around her fingers until it became like an extension of her own hands. The lens seemed to focus and unfocus idly without being touched. There was no LCD screen like newer cameras would have had, only an old-fashioned, rectangular viewfinder for looking through. She held it up to frame the roses in the viewfinder. The focus was blurry and so she attempted to pull her hand away to adjust the manual focus but the camera would not let her let go. Instead the focus seemed to adjust itself until the roses were perfectly in focus. Lydia was surprised but attempted to find the perfect angle. She had just begun to wonder how she was supposed to actually take the picture with her finger buried in the camera when the flash went off by itself.

"It reads its users telepathically." Vincent's voice came from her left. She straightened to look at him.

"Really?"

"Yes. It senses what the photographer's wants and arranges it to the best of its abilities."

"That's amazing." She lifted the camera to her eye again and framed him in the viewfinder. She was surprised to find that she found the picture breathtaking. The light on the camera flashed once, twice, and Lydia found herself blushing in embarrassment. He smiled at her from the other side of the camera and before she could really think about it the flash on the camera went off again.

"Alright, no more of that." She let the camera drop in her hands before it took another picture that would embarrass her. His brief smile had disappeared and she shifted uncomfortably before she continued, "Uhm, how do I get this off?"

"Just let it go." He replied softly.

She looked down at the camera and watched as it slowly unwrapped from her fingers. They finally separated with a popping noise and Lydia once again held the camera more freely. She looked to find the bag had been left in the faded green grass nearby and the girl was gone. She glanced around as she picked the bag up and returned the camera to its case.

"Thanks for letting me use your… camera."

"You are welcome to borrow it anytime." He offered.

"Oh… Uh…" she wasn't sure how to reply to that. Luckily she didn't have to.

"You must be hungry. Please, join me for dinner…"

A deep breath and a wide, yellowed grin. "Aaaa, its good to be back in the ol' skin." He stared up at the city before him, flexing his arms out in front of himself and cracking his knuckles loudly. He couldn't resist an excited chuckle as he strode forward. "Babes, I ain't gonna let this bullshit pass. You just wait fer me."

Vincent paused with the fork halfway to his mouth. His eyes flashed darkly as he set the utensil back down and cleared his throat. Lydia paused as well, looking up from her own meal at where he sat very straight and still.

"Vincent?"

He didn't reply as he stared straight ahead. He was back, he could feel that presence, and it was unmistakable: Beetlejuice was back.

"Vincent, hello?"

He looked at her like he'd forgotten she was there and gave her a wane smile as he remembered, "My apologies, Miss Lydia, I merely reminded myself of something important I have forgotten to take care of." He pushed away from the lavish table they had been dining at.

"I'm sorry to have taken up so much of your time, Vincent. I think I've overstayed my welcome, if you would just tell me how to get ho—"

"Oh, not at all Miss Lydia. It is nothing that cannot wait until later. Please," he stood, "There is more I wish to show you today." Lydia stood as he held out his hand to her. She glanced at it before hesitantly placing her hand in his. "This is a place I was saving for last. There is no other place like it in all of the Neitherworld, but to appreciate it we must take the long way there." He led her from the dining room and down a hall that opened up into the wide, elegant main hall. It was perfectly quiet as they crossed, except for the sound of their shoes on the stone floors that echoed loudly across the walls. They entered a smaller doorway across the way and he led her down a long corridor that led to a thick door. The door swung open of its own accord and they entered a small room that Lydia discovered was a staircase that wound up and up. It was lit only by the thin slits that were windows in the stone. Lydia had glimpses and flashes of the rest of the castle and then just sky, and she was beginning to wonder when the stairs were going to end. She was still wondering when the stairs would end five minutes later, and again another five minutes later. Her breath was coming in short gasps but Vincent trooped onward in his excitement and just as Lydia was about to demand to stop they came upon a door. He turned to her and she saw excitement in his eyes, the first emotion besides that sad kindness she'd seen from him, and it instantly disappeared as he saw her puffing for breath to be replaced with deep concern.

"Miss Lydia are you alright?"

"Yes," she huffed, "Just… a little out of breath."

"You must forgive me, I was excited to show you this and I forgot the physical limitations you have as a mortal human." He had her hands gripped in his now as they stood at the top of the stairs.

"It's okay, Vincent, I'm just out of breath, that's all." She assured, pulling her hands free of his. His continued stare, although she could see nothing suspicious in it, still unnerved her.

"If you are sure, Miss Lydia." He looked uncertain but stepped back nonetheless. "This is what I wished to show you." He turned to the door and she watched as the locks and bolts slide free without his touch. He pressed a gentle hand to the door and it swung open with a slow creak. They stepped out onto a balcony made of the same stone as the rest of the castle. "The most beautiful place in all the Neitherworld." He took her hand again and led her to the edge. Lydia couldn't help but let out a gasp as the view overtook her. She could see everything! The twisting, endless roads, the city with its tall buildings—nothing compared to the height they were at—the setting sun, and the haze floating beneath the edges of the city. She looked down and suddenly realized just how high the tower actually was. It was almost impossible, and she could barely make out the shining black suits of the guards below them.

"Do you like it?" Vincent's soft voice interrupted her amazement.

"It's brilliant!" she breathed. Silence fell over them and the first time that day Lydia felt it wasn't awkward. He was correct when he'd told her this was the most beautiful place in all the Neitherworld; Lydia couldn't imagine a more beautiful place. She felt like she could stay there forever, it was almost too perfect. She looked down again to the rest of the castle in time to see a flash of green. "Vincent, what was that?"

Vincent stepped closer to her and peered over the edge. "He certainly took long enough, did he not?"

"What do you mean?" What was happening down there? The flashes grew more frequent and the glinting metal suits below were all making their way toward the source.

"Think, Lydia. Why would I be holding you here? Who could I be waiting for?" there was only one answer, but Lydia could hardly believe it would be _Him_. He was human, and in the mortal world, and powerless. "I know you must be confused." She looked up briefly and when she looked back down the green flashes had disappeared. Her stomach nearly dropped in that moment as a strange sense of fear gripped her. She turned to bolt for the door only to have it slam closed before she could take two steps.

"You know who it is, Miss Lydia." The sneer in his voice was all too powerful, "That backstabbing, wicked, evil, twisted version of a man." This time Lydia stared at him in surprise. She still had no idea how he could be here—if that was really him—and the sudden about-face in Vincent's demeanour wasn't helping. His expression remained exactly the same: that sad, kind look, but his voice had dropped an octave and the tone seemed much more frightening and sinister.

"Why are you doing this?"

Lydia would have thought it impossible for such a twisted look to cross his solemn features if she hadn't seen it right then for herself, but it was real. "Why do I do this? For everything he took from me, and everything he left me with." There was noise from behind the door.

"I have no idea what you're talking about!" she took to pleading, slowly back away from the tall, dark form that was advancing on her.

"Of course you don't. This is much older than yourself, it is from well before your time." He lunged forward and seized her arms, dragging her forward as she squirmed in pain. It had little affect, however, and he crushed her body to his before lowering his lips to kiss her ravenously just as Beetlejuice came crashing through the door.

**A/N: BAM! Muwahahaha who all saw that coming? What's up with Prince Vince? Why the sudden and nasty turn? What 'history' does he refer to? Well, you'll have to wait to find out.**

**The-Fabulous-Person: He never would have _really_ made it as a human anyway. And I got so uncomfortable writing him that way. XD I was planning on having a chapter in between her disappearance and his death where he actually didn't die but I just couldn't do it! Also, I really love Prince Vince and the potential he has. He's just so sweet and romantical-like. Except for just now, but I'm not spoiling the why. . … .**

**Starling Powers: I'm glad you love it! It's about to get really good, too, so stay tuned!**


	9. White Wedding

**A/N: Man, for some reason after writing that last oneshot this chapter was really hard to get started. Hoo-boy. P.S. I NEED REVIEWS. Rawr. They fuel my soul.**

Breathing was a hard habit to break, which is why Beetlejuce was panting as if he was breathless as he threw the last of the guards to the ground, staring at the bloody stump that had once been his face. His hands were covered in the oozing black blood of the dead and he lifted one to stare at it with interest. A split second later it was gone and he was bored with the carnage littering the ground. A wave of his juice and he was spotless again, staring up as the castle before him. He could feel the power emanating from somewhere above him and his brow furrowed. He didn't remember the kid being so powerful… Could he have changed so much in the four years Beetlejuice had been in that waiting room?

"Like it matters." He grinned; the kid was still no match for the Ghost with the Most. He juiced himself into the castle and up the tower, annoyed to find a ridiculous excuse for a barrier blocking his path to the very top. He materialized, staring at the empty space where the barrier stood, invisible. He pressed a hand against it, crooked, yellow teeth glowing in the juice that radiated from the barrier. His fingers dug into it and it resisted. He growled deep in his throat and pushed back, pouring his own juice into the barrier until it shattered violently beneath his hands. He took the last few steps to the door and was annoyed to find a second barrier in place. This only served to fuel his anger and this time he impatiently tore into the barrier until the energy lay in shreds around his feet, crackling weakly. There was something strange on the other side of that door but Beetlejuice ignored it in favour of splintering the door to shreds as he heard the voice of Lydia coming from the other side.

The sight that greeted him on the other side of door made his dead blood boil. There stood Prince Vince with his arms on his Lyds and kissing her like she belonged to him! And when the fuck did the kid get so tall? He towered over Lydia. Four years ago he'd been a growth-stunted kid and now he'd what? Sprouted like a beanpole?

"Vince!" Useless fucker didn't deserve the title of Prince, and he wouldn't be a prince at all when Beetlejuice was done with him. He'd be lucky to be a wet pile of bloody mush when Beetlejuice was done with him. "You get your fucking prissy fingers off my Babes!" he strode forward as Prince Vince stepped back idly from Lydia, smiling triumphantly down at the girl who watched him dazedly. He ignored Beetlejuice entirely as he snapped his fingers. Zanser appeared from nowhere, summoned by the Prince.

Beetlejuice eyes the ghost warily, recognizing him as the one who'd taken his Lyds. This ghoul was no lightweight, either, and sneered at Beetlejuice, who was looking back and forth between the two of them. "Zanser, be a good fellow and take Miss Lydia to my private rooms." His gaze was still locked with the girl he gripped in his hands. "I will join you there shortly, my love." He flung the girl into Zanser's grasp and she reached out for Prince Vince.

"Vincent!" she cried, struggling against the grip of Zanser.

"Don't you touch her!" Beetlejuice roared, taking a menacing step towards Zanser, but he merely held her in front of himself and chuckled mockingly.

"Lyds, don'tcha worry, once I rip both these fakes to shreds we'll get you home, okay?" But Lydia wasn't looking at him; she was looking at Vince as if she feared for _his_ life.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Beetlejuice." It was Vince's attention that drew his gaze, "My little Lydia would just hate to see me get hurt, isn't that right, love?"

"Vincent! Vincent, be careful! Please!" she pleaded. Beetlejuice stared at the girl as if she'd screwed her head on backwards. What had she just said? _Vincent_?

"I will, my love, do not worry. This will all be over soon. Zanser, please take Lydia to my private rooms. Keep her there until I have dealt with the annoyance. Do not harm her." He reached out to take her hand and kissed it. As he stepped back she gripped his own hand, unwilling to let go.

"Vincent, no! Please!"

"It will all be over soon. Please, Lydia." A moment of silence passed between them before she nodded and let go of his hand. Before he could even blink the pair of them were gone. Beetlejuice glowered at Vince.

"What have you done to her?" he demanded, juice coursing through his limbs. He could barely believe what he'd just seen. His Lyds was making goo-goo eyes at Vince? If he knew his Lyds, and he damn well did, he knew she didn't go the watery, emotional type. So what was up with the sudden infatuation for the once child-prince Vince?

"Nothing, poltergeist. Lydia was merely expressing concern for the man she loves."

"Fat chance, willow wisp. You did somethin' while you were kissin' her, didn't ya? I felt all that power zoomin' up around here like there was some sorta party." He pointed at the slender man, "And I know ya ain't got that much power, Vince, or you didn't last time I saw ya and people don't change that fast in the Neitherworld. Not as fast as you have, so ya better explain exactly what's going on, and ya sure as hell better not hurt Lyds, or else I'm gonna hurt ya a lot more than I was already planning ta."

The quirk of Vince's lips was unreadable in it's own way, and it definitely didn't belong on his features. "You caught me." His whole stance shifted and he set his hands firmly on his hips in a move that was much too feminine to be naturally male. "I did do something to Lydia, but don't worry, it will wear off soon. Although by that time I'll have ripped your trashy little self limb from limb." He giggled. Yes, giggled. What was wrong with this picture? He'd always been a sober, depressed, whiney brat of a child, but he'd never been a really bad person. "And don't worry, I'll take care of pretty little Lydia. Do you know the girl actually wants in? Well I can certainly arrange for that, especially since she's played her part so well, although I can't promise it won't be an excruciating experience for her, Juicy-pie."

Juicy-pie? What the hell? He narrowed his eyes at Vince. A pet name? Something just didn't smell right to Beetlejuice, and for once it wasn't himself; far too much was going on at once for this to be normal.

"Catching up, Beetlecheeks, or have we just not gotten it yet?" Beetlejuice blinked. Someone else had called him that once, a very long time ago. "What I can't believe is that you'd die for such a flimsy little mortal, sweets. I mean, when you and I were partners, well… you just left me to rot." Vince sauntered forward, each step a threat, "And after all that time we spent conning together. I mean, hell, we terrorized the Neitherworld for nearly a century together, and you just… _leave me_ to take all the heat? Just like that?"

Beetlejuice grunted, now he knew it could only be one person. "How the hell did you get out of the lost souls room, Hachette?" He remembered her all too well, and knew this was much worse than little old Prince Vince throwing a tantrum.

"Oh, you'd be surprised at what you can do to another soul even in the lost souls room." Now he understood the smile and why it looked so wrong on Vince's face. Only a woman could smile like that. Only a woman could smile like her smile could destroy the every fibre of your being. It slowly faded, "In truth, Honeybug, I had to fight and claw my way out of that god forsaken room. No, actually, first I had to find the door. That took me nearly two centuries, Beetlejuice. _Two centuries_ to find a god-forsaken door, damnit!" Vince—Hatchette—stomped his foot angrily, "And I was so tired by then I didn't have the energy to even attempt getting through for another fifty years! Fifty years of just sitting there, knowing my freedom was on the other side of that door! When I finally did have the power it wasn't enough," She pointed to her chest, "and do you know what I did then?"

They stared at one another. He knew, and even he was disgusted by the idea, "Hatchette don't tell me you—"

"Oh you better damn well believe I did! Like hell I was staying in that bloody place! Not with you free out here!" They were barely two feet away from each other now, and Beetlejuice was not letting his guard down, not for one worthless second. He knew Hatchette too well for that. "I devoured their souls, Beetlejuice. I had no other option because near that door it was eat or be eaten. They all wanted to get out and none of them were powerful enough to do it on their own. It took me two centuries—two!—to accumulate the power I needed, and even then when I got out I was as weak as a bloody kitten! I had to lie around for over a hundred years gathering the strength to do anything, and when I finally get enough energy to go seek you out, do I find you? No! You've been gone for a year! No one's seen hide nor hair of you! I finally got wind you were all holed up in the waiting room, and I'll be damned if I'm ever going to set foot again in that shit hole again, and so I start to wait it out. I still ain't got my ghostly body back, you see, so I find this kid. This Prince—scrawny little fuck he was when I first found him, too—and you know what I find out? I can possess him. Yes, that's right, I'm possessing a ghost." Hatchette laughed a loud, high-pitched laugh with Vince's body. "That's a real killer, ain't it?" she grins but doesn't let him reply; it's like a dam has burst and there's no way he can stop it. "So I figure, what's a few more years? Just a little more resting time. Then, when he gets out I'll have the little fuck all to myself and I'll show him what I do to people who leave me hanging."

Her face grew serious then and Beetlejuice watched her warily. Way back when they'd still been partners she and Beetlejuice had been pretty evenly matched as far as power went. He was no laughing matter now, no, Beetlejuice was one of the strongest poltergeists in all the Neitherworld, but Hatchette had consumed lost souls. Pure spectral energy, there was no telling what kind of powers she'd gained, or how it had affected her.

Without notice his arm snapped forward and he let loose a wave of his juice, just enough to get a general idea of his—or rather her—abilities. He did not expect for the energy to his Vince's body, sizzling, and just disappear as if absorbed. In a split second the energy was racing back at him and with such a short distance between them Beetlejuice was lucky that he was able to deflect it in time. Devouring souls was a very dangerous path. The power could be immense, but as far as Beetlejuice was concerned the risks far outweighed the benefits. You took on a little bit of each soul you consumed. It was almost like having multiple personalities after a while, and Hatchette had been unstable to begin with. That was why Beetlejuice had liked her so much, but if taken too far soul-consumption could tear even a strong poltergeist apart.

"How many soul's d'ya eat to get out, Hatchette?"

Hatchette sneered at him with Vince's face, stomping her foot childishly and ignoring his question, "You are GOING to let me finish!" she screamed, voice unnaturally high and shrill. Beetlejuice fell silent, not agreeing or disagreeing either way, and Hatchette took this as her cue to continue her tale of woe and betrayal.

"So, when I heard you were finally out of that room I sent Zanser to find you. He's such a good little toy, so obedient. Not a fan of humans, though, since his death. It's all right though, because he doesn't dare disobey me. It's really a blessing I found him that night in the grim quarter downtown. After all, he was the one who got me into the castle." She scoffed, "But I digress. Imagine my surprise when he one day comes back with a fantastical tale about you and some human girl. I almost killed him right there and then for giving me such a bald-faced lie, but he said he could prove it, and the little worm's so spineless I knew he couldn't be lying and I let him go out again because I know he wouldn't dare not come back to me. The following day he comes back to me and you know what he tells me?" Without warning Hatchette was suddenly very close to him and it was weird to be glaring down the Prince while knowing it wasn't actually him but Hatchette glowering with hatred behind those dark eyes, "He tells me the pretty little breather's name is Lydia Deetz and yes, she's still alive and in the Neitherworld. I was really laughing then, I mean we'd never actually gotten a breather to the Neitherworld before; I was almost impressed. Then I realize Zanser's not done with his story, and he goes on to tell me that this little breather—this _Lydia Deetz_—got a ring on her finger, and then he describes it to me." The last words drop like a bombshell, all quiet and harmless sounding in the air but exploding viciously as their meaning registered in his head.

"I don't know if I mentioned this, Beetlecheeks, but you know what else made clawing my way out of the lost souls room reeeeal difficult? Missing three of the fingers on my left hand." She let that sink in before very quietly asking, "Why is my ring on her finger, Beetlejuice?"

**A/N: Sorry for the short chapter! I really tried to lengthen it, but I just had nothing more to stuff it with even though everything I planned to happen here has happened!**

**The-Fabulous-Person: Muwahahahaha. I LOVED writing that chapter. Especially that last part, it all came so well.**

**Ceysna: Poor little Vince, this really isn't his fault, and I generally like the little guy, but he's just got bad, bad luck here.**

**XBeth: I generally do like Vince, but the poor boy is just such an easy target for causing mayhem. I still haven't decided what's going to happen to him in the end, though!**


	10. Ghostly Hauntings I Turn Loose

A/N: ALRIGHT. So, this story doesn't have many chapters left in it, which is okay because this was my long first fanfiction here and it's not perfect BUT I have two new ideas, and I can't decide which one to do. SO WHAT I NEED YOU ALL TO DO is after you read this chapter in the author notes at the end will be the summaries for two stories! I need you all to vote! Every username gets 1 vote! And no, do NOT post your vote in the form of a review or in your review, please send me a message. The results will be secret until I reveal the first chapter of the new story. The voting is open until this story concludes! And don't worry, I am going to eventually write both, I just can't decide which to do first.

Also, slight note on fashion and time in the Neitherworld with this story: it's more of a… liquid kind of ball of time rather than a straight line. :D I can't just imagine the Neitherworld going through the same kind of timeline regular time does. Also remember Beej is younger here, so he doesn't have as much juice than you see him with when he's older.

_Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit._ It was all Beetlejuice had the capacity to think at that particular moment. There was only one thing worse than Hatchette coming back after almost six hundred years and that was Hatchette coming back after six hundred years and discovering he'd given her ring to a mortal girl. It did not help that he'd expected it to be anyone but her who'd kidnapped Lydia, either. It did not surprise him, however, that Hatchette had done it. She'd been his partner for a reason all those years ago, and for that reason right now he was on his guard. He remembered quite clearly the story she'd told him of how she had died. It had happened the night they'd first met…

"_Come on, sweet cheeks! You haven't even given me a change here!"_

"_And I'm not going to." She replied tersly before pointedly ignoring him._

"_Awwww, how can ya judge me when ya don't even know me?" Beetlejuice slid around to the other side of the barstool she was sitting in so he could be in her direct line of sight once more. She stared disdainfully down at him, studying him in his wrinkled, dirty striped suit. Fashions of the Neitherworld she would never understand. He still looked fairly human. His skin was pale in death but otherwise unchanged, his hair slightly matted, but thick and tied back loosely. She was the picture of perfection next to him. Her dress was a deep green, the bodice trimmed with black lace and the sleeves reaching mid-forearm and long laters of lace hanging down. The skirt of the dress layered out widely from her hips in a full skirt. Her long, blonde hair was curled in wide rings and pulled tightly to the left of her head to fall down in cascades of curls. Behinds her ear rested a deep blue flower that matched the dark, intense blue of her eyes. Her face was round, almost cherub-like with wide, doe-like eyes and a mouth that naturally pouted. Her hair was a light, cool blonde and her nose pert, and turned up._

"_You know," she began slowly, "that there is a line where perseverance simply becomes stubbornness and denial." The words dripped from her lips with the liquid acidity of an insult but he merely grinned at her._

"_That's me, Doll. Stubborn to a fault." He signed dramatically, "You might as well just say yet. You and I both know I ain't goin' anywhere." He mimicked a coquettish flutter of his eyelashes that just came off as looking like he had something in his eye._

"_Oh, do go find someone else to bother, please! Can you not see I am waiting for someone?" Now she was annoyed, and an angry glint reflected that in her eyes. Now, lots of ghouls could look angry or even be angry, but what caught his attention was that this dame actually looked dangerous when she glared and god forbid he'd let something so intriguing go in this boring realm._

"_All right, all right, I can see you're a lady who knows what she wants. I can respect that, ya know? You seem real smart, too. So how about I bet you in a little game of chance? One hand of cards, that's all I'm askin'."_

_She studied him, "You'll bet me what, exactly?"_

"_Well, if ya win I'll buy ya a drink and leave ya alone for the rest of the night, and if I win ya buy me a drink and ya owe me a dance. Whaddya say, Sweets?"_

"_And why would I bet with you when I could just as easily call the bouncer and have you thrown out?" she asked, idly spinning the stem of her glass in her hand._

_He shrugged, "You got no reason not to do that, I just thought ya was different from the rest of the girls around here." He let that hang in the air for a moment before continuing, "I just thought you looked like a woman who don't take no shit from no one, and who could hold her own in a room full of men. I guess I was wrong, I apologize." He straightened from his position leaning against the bar beside her and proceeded to brush off his clothes. She stared at him, she knew it was a trap but it was just so infuriating—_

"_All right then, one hand." She glowered._

_He grinned, whipping out a deck from one of his pockets and began a quick shuffle, "What's yer poison?" the cards seemed to move faster than she could watch, but she was staring only at him. "Five card poker, hold 'em, forty-fives, bridge?" he cackled. She stared at him hard._

"_Five card poker it is then." He licked his lips and began flicking out the cards. He slammed the deck on the bar with a glance at her. She was watching him with disinterest so he made the first move._

"_Deuces wild, three card draw, aces high and low." He offered her the terms. She nodded and watched as he picked up his cards and only then did she touch hers, picking them tentatively up to look at them. She scanned them and arranged them in the appropriate order, then looked up to find him staring at her._

"_Yes?"_

_He held up the deck, "Need a card?"_

_She raised a brow and studied her hand before glancing at him. He was still grinning at her. She pulled two cards and placed them facedown. "Two."_

_He tossed her two more and she picked them up only to scrunch her nose in disgust. He took three himself, absorbed in his own hand. She took two more the next round, and watched as he also took two. She studied her cards for one brief moment and then placed one face down on the counter. He dealt her one last new card and took one for himself. Neither said a word as they contemplated their hands and then…_

"_Ladies first." He offered._

"_No, this is your bet. You go first, I insist." She countered simply._

_He shrugged, "I guess I shoulda warned ya: I'm lucky." He smirked and laid down his cards, "Four aces." He announced smugly._

"_Well I don't know how exactly you could have done that seeing as I have four aces." She replied a little too smugly and laid down her had for his perusal. He stared slack-jawed at the hand._

"_Ya cheated!" he accused, stepping back._

_She slid from her seat and pointed one gloved hand at his chest, "Actually, I believe you cheated, Sir." They were staring each other down when a commotion came from the far side of the bar._

"_HATCHETTE! Ya schemin', little, two-timin' tramp! Get yer frilly ass out 'ere and gimme back mah money!" Both heads snapped to stare across the room where a large Irish ghost with chains dangling from his limbs stood, towering a good head and shoulders over the rest of the congregated mass. Before she could react, however, he had spotted her and was crossing the bar to where she stood with three other ghouls in tow. Well, let it be known Hatchette was hardly a slow thinker on her feet. She looked to Beetlejuice next to her and smiled a slow, wicked smile that left the young poltergeist gaping as she dashed into the large man's arms._

"_Romero, oh Romero thank goodness you found me!" She lifted her face to bat teary eyes at the large ghost, "It was awful! He was threatening me with exorcism! He is mad, despicable! He used me to get close to you, telling me he knew how to exorcise and that if I didn't get your money for him he—he'd—he'd send me to the lost souls room!" she buried her face in his chest. When he didn't respond immediately she looked up at him, tears streaming down her pretty face, "Romero?" she simpered._

_He grunted, looking from her to the poltergeist she'd been with, "How d'I know yer tellin' tha truth?" It was never that easy, was it?_

_Hatchette pointed at Beetlejuice, "I saw him put the money in his pocket! The left one. I swear Romero, you can even check it!" her mouth pouted in fear, "You'll see I'm telling the truth!"_

_The larger ghost narrowed his eyes at Beetlejuice, who just grinned smugly. He didn't have any cash on him. He was looking forward to seeing the little lass get into the trouble she obviously had earned. That was, until two of Romero's friends stepped forward menacingly to check out Hatchette's claim. He held up his hands placatingly._

"_Hey here, I ain't met this broad before tonight. She's lyin' through her pretty, white teeth. I ain't got none of yer money." The woman—Hatchette—had turned to look his way and the look in her eyes gave Beetlejuice a bad feeling deep in his rotting stomach, but still, he was confident. He'd picked enough pockets to know all the tricks._

"_Then ye won't mind us takin' a little look-see." One of the henchmen who'd been advancing on him grabbed one arm and the other snatched his other arm before he could react. He struggled in their grip to no avail as they began to dig in his pockets._

"_I told ya I ain't got yer money! What's a guy have to do around here to be believed by a complete stranger?" he grinned, at least he thought he was pretty funny._

"_I got it!"_

"_Ya got wha—" Beetlejuice turned his gaze sideways to see on of the men holding him now holding a heavy bag of coin. How'd that get there? He looked to the woman but she was only looking at Romero, "You put it there!" he growled. She looked back at him with that wicked little gleam in her eye telling him everything he needed to know. Romero pushed the woman behind him and advanced on Beetlejuice, who became distracted from his plans for revenge by the mountain of bulk advancing on him. "Listen Romero, old pal, I didn't take that. Didn't even know it was there. You think I'd have been here with her if I had?"_

_Romero stopped and turned to looked at Hatchette, who's expression was absolutely devastated. She lunged forward to cling to his arm, "Romero, I would never! That little snake of a man is lying! I told you the truth, the money is where you found it, is it not?" But Romero just grabbed her by the arm and flung her to stand next to Beetlejuice. Meanwhile the whole bar had grown still as they watched the situation escalate._

"_He couldna done it by himself, and you ain't no innocent pixie, lass." He growled, "I ain't believe you didna do this o'yer own free will. So I think I'll punish the both of ye just to make sure ye both get tha picture." He grabbed the chains attached to his wrists and began to lift them as if they were weapons; which they were._

"_No way I'm stayin' fer this!" Beetlejuice snapped. He elbowed the man on his right in the face and stepped on the other's foot just as Romero threw down his chain-clad fist. Beetlejuice turned to look up at him and suddenly they were gone. Or rather, Beetlejuice was no longer there. It was dark around them now, with most of the light filtering in from the left._

"_How—how'd you do that?" the gasping words came from next to him and he turned to see Hatchette staring at him with wide eyes._

"_You ain't that old, are ya, kid?" he asked._

_She frowned at him but didn't reply to his question, instead merely asked, "What do you want?"_

_He mulled over playing games with her, but decided that since they were still only just outside the bar that it would work better to make this quick. So he held up the bag of coin the men had taken off him. She gaped, "How did you get that? Give it back, it's mine!" she made to lunge for it and he danced it just out of her reach._

"_You almost got the both of us killed in there, Hatchette. Tell me why I should be givin' this back to ya? Maybe I should take this as my payment for savin' yer ass?" she glowered at him but said nothing. "No, wait, I've got a better idea than that," here it came, "How's about we cut this fifty-fifty and you and I go into business? Ya obviously don't know how ta take care of yerself yet, and I could use a broad like you to pull off a few cons. There's always better stakes when ya got two." He grinned sleazily, but what he did not expect to find was himself pressed against a wall with a knife pressed to his throat._

"_Let's get this straight, _sweetie-poo_," she offered mockingly, "I killed fifty-six fat, rich, stupid men in my life and got lynched for it. I ain't afraid of you, I don't even like you, so if you screw me over I __will_ _kill you. Again."_

_He grinned broadly at her, "I ain't never said I like ya, Sweets, but I'll admit ya got fire, and fire I like." They stared down each other for a moment longer before she released him._

"_Fifty-fifty split." She agreed, "And you teach me all the little hocus-pocus magic tricks you know."_

_He held out his hand and after a moment of nothing, she took it. He shook her hand vigorously, "Done deal, Sweets, done deal." He let go, "First thing ya gotta know? When to juice and when to run." He heard the bar door slam open, "And now's tha time ta run." He turned and head further into the alley with Hatchette close on his heels._

A/N: Sorry for the short chapter! It really wasn't the easiest to write. . But anyway, below are the two ideas for new stories, please message me with your votes!

#1: Beej finally pushes the Neitherworld authorities as far as they will go, and they sentence him to reformation. They send him an angel to reform him, and this is how he meets Lydia. But is what he thinks is going to be a good little angel of God really going to turn out to be a good little angel?

#2: Beetlejuice has finally crossed the wrong person and has been punished by becoming the plaything of children—a doll, but before a careless child can find him and rip him apart a young teenage girl by the name of Lydia finds him. She takes him home where he becomes her confident, the witness to her life, and her friend. Can she set him free?

The-Fabulous-Person: Thank you so much! I'm so glad you're enjoying it so much!

Kimberly S: I am certainly trying to! Keep on reading! :D


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